Gerlach, NV – (CN)

In line with one of the 10 Principles, Gifting, an authorized product from Burning Man has been given away for free this week.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Burn

FREE!

FREE!

Written under the non de guerre ‘Sean Kemp’, the product  was a collaboration between the now obliterated “Burning Man Arts Foundation” and the “Vogon Foundation of Soviet Canuckistan”.

“I started creating this product back in 2004,” sighed “Sean”,  I finished the first product version in 2004 actually.  Since then I’ve been going back and forth with the Burning Man Sexy Censorship Board (BMSCB) and the Vogon Committee for Publishing until this year.  I’m never creating another product again.”

After initially selling for the Burning Man price of $9.99 its now being given away here, on Consumptionblog for free:

 

 “Don’t Panic”

 

The End

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Dear Beloved Burners,

Grover Norquist is NOT an example of Radical Inclusion.

He is a privileged white guy with a beard and an MBA.

norquistBman

 

He’ll spend too much at the Walmart in Reno for a bunch of stuff he’ll never use.

He’ll get a bit dusty and see a bunch of awesome art.

He’ll get all pill’d up and dance for six hours at White Ocean one night.

He’ll yell and curse during Exodus on Monday.

He’ll fit right in.

“I think it’s best if no one Googles anybody from now on”

 

Arby

Hat Tip to Burners.me:

Opulent Temple, nee White Ocean announced a massive trance and progressive line up for Burning Man 2014 – Cargo Trance.

After year of trance and progressive being pushed to the sidelines in favor of undance-alicious Dubstep and other nonsense, its back!

Check out this line up:

white-ocean-burning-man-2014-lineup

 

Juno Reactor blows.

However…

Hernan Catteneo/Nick Warren late night to dawn tag team set?  Yes Sir!

And that Wednesday night set looks pretty fantastic.

Thanks White Ocean!

Check out Cattaneo’s epic set from last year at the Burn:

 

 

Costa Rica Beware!

Before the Saturday quarter final World Cup extravaganza against the Dutch take these words to heart: : “Dutch Footballers are Nasty, Brutish, and Tall.”  Tommy Hobbes – famous English football commentator at the World Cup in 1651 in Groningen featuring the Oranje menace versus the Kingdom of Silesia.

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“Robben is a Wanker”

 

Team Silesia took the lead on a face paced counter break driving down the right wing and swinging in the Charles I’s head which was used as the ball and headed home by attacking Silesia man mountain Miesko.     During the half time interval King Charles II, still smarting over his dead fathers utility in scoring one against his home side ordered the Silesia team drawn and quartered.  This is where the term “quarter finals” is derived from.  The Kingdom of Silesia, in a state of embarrassment had itself drawn and quartered into four kingdoms, promptly joining the Czech, Poles, Austrians and Germans, never again making it to the knock out stages of a World Cup.

Strudel your couch and buckle your seat belts people.  Not since Kaiser Wilhelm II rode through the Jaffa Gates in Jerusalem has there been a greater day in German history.

kaiser

This morning Jurgen Klinsmann and his merry band of Von Trapps ride on the Brasilian autobahn of destiny against Sami Khedira, Mesut Ozil, Mario Gomez and eight other people for World Cup Glory.

It’s going to be awesome!

After being diagnosed with immortality, Queen Elizabeth decided to commission a new Throne.

Queen Elizabeth II And Duke Of Edinburgh Visit Northern Ireland

Get ready for an Annus Horribilis.