The author of the article makes several controversial claims about Burning Man such as:

“I worried about the penises…”

“Burning Man began in 1986 on Baker Beach in San Francisco…”

“…bizarre goat-slapping ceremonies involving ridiculous paper-mache goats…” [Editors Note: Fact -There was no paper-mache, that goat was made of asbestos and transcendence.]

Founded by makers of fine cold Australian brew, VB, Meanjin has been published off and on more or less quarterly since 2009.  Since the issue was published around beer o’clock on Wednesday the reaction has been mainly positive.

“We think the reaction has been good,” said Meanjin Editor Sally Heath reached at a payphone at the Laundry Bar in Fitzroy.   “It’s hard to say really.  We don’t allow comments and integration with the Facebook and the Twitter is a bit bourgeoisie.  We’re working class.  I mean I wouldn’t be caught dead in Vaucluse, even to visit my parents.”

Sally enjoys a word with her sponsor

“Meanjin will almost certainly have a themecamp at the Burn this year,” enthused article author Simone Ubaldi.  “The theme ‘Wild West’ is a bit lame, but we’ll make due.  20,000 hippies aren’t going to mock me in your article are they?”

“20,000 hippies can go to hell,” screamed Burning Man founder Larry Harvey from a scratchy payphone near his winter dasha on the Black Sea.  “The Burn has felt a bit flat since, well, at least Green Man.  This article is just the ‘Melbourican Quicksilver’ we need to jump start the event back to life.”

Australian classic 'Young Einstein' was watched by dozens in 2011

Oolong Burners, a branch of the American Tea Party movement expressed concern for the growing Antipodean influence at the event north of Reno.

“The Kiwis were all over The Temple of Transition this year,”  said Oolong Spokesperson Tommy T-Baggin responding via e-mail. “You couldn’t get within 50 metres, I mean yards and if I did mean meters I’d spell it the American way…anyhoo… Ashram Galatica was positively smashed with Aussies.  If we don’t watch it Alice Springs will be the new Gerlach in no time.  Have you ever been to the Walmart in Alice Springs?  Me neither, but $10 says it’s terrible.”

Over the years Meanjin has achieved notoriety in it’s homeland for taking on various cultural taboos including:

• Top 10 places to Purchase Heroin in Redfern
• Gee Twenty – The Average Australian Vocabulary and John Howard
• Essendon vs Collingwood – Why Victorian Sports Suck
• Burning Beds – Cultural Hegemony and Midnight Oil
• Flight of the Reactionaries  – The False Consciousness of Kiwi Humor

I'm a plausible character, I swear!

April brings us Season Two of the gritty reality based HBO drama ‘Game of Thrones’.  Season One of Game of Thrones’ provided an almost documentary take on the byzantine American political scene.

It's Cold and Dangerous in the Beltway

Consumptive Judgement:

Game of Thrones no doubt.

Toned down production values is the backdrop of ‘Game of Thrones’ simple morality play and mirror on our complicated times.  Great underplayed acting is scene throughout but particularly by Sean Bean in the role of Senator Stark.

Even for the fantasy genre which ‘Homeland’ originates, one cannot help but think it’s far to outlandish to be taken seriously beyond children’s fare.  Sure, Claire Danes gets high marks for her acting in the role of a German speaking voyeur in the East German secret police spying on ginger political miscreants but even she can’t overcome the drool covered plot only head writer Kevin Smith could love.

The bout featuring two belt World Champion Amir ‘King’ Kahn lost to Lamont Peterson in Washington, DC this last December 10th after a disputed points decision.  Washington, DC, an American city is located somewhere between southern industriousness and northern hospitality is has gained a global reputation in recent centuries since the Teapot Dome scandal brought the City into disrepute.

Now a picture (below) have revealed a mysterious man messing with one of the judges.

Giving the Judge a Reach Around

Boxing officials, promoters, and journalists have pointed the finger of blame at the location of the fight, Washington, DC.

GoldenBoy Promotions tweeted on Friday “Amir will never be sullied by Washington, DC again.  The proposed rematch will be held in an honest city like New Orleans or Lagos.”

Amir comments at a press conference mirrored GoldenBoy’s.  “I felt dirty the entire time I was in that doomed city.  Lets keep the hard earned dignity and respect in boxing by holding this in a proper city like Bolton.”

A re-match is said to be in the works.

When you immediately start cheering for the Ginger Al Qæda…

I'm happy for his escape

…and simultaneously want to see less of Claire Danes tits…

Less is More Claire...

…perhaps this isn’t the series for you.

I’ll give it a couple more episodes seeing as it took Vuze so long to download it…

Corrido till the World Ends

Why Mariachi?

The Four Horsemen went Union a long time ago and in these hard economic times the administrators of the 2012 Mayan End Times ® just couldn’t hack the benefits package.

“We overestimated the number of Caucasians in Iowa no doubt about it,” said Mugwump leader Andrew Sullivan from his lair in the Dagestan capital of Cape Cod.  “And we really shouldn’t have written those newsletters.  In our defense it was our first foray into politics since 1908 when that shit would have worked.”

Andrew Sullivan Pontificates on Ron Paul

The Mugwumps were bolstered in February of 2011 when they were credited with Ron Paul’s Straw Poll Win at the CPAC Conference.  A recent poll surge by Paul in Iowa led many of them to believed they could bring their success to the American Caucuses.

The American Mugwump Association (AMA) released a terse press release this morning stating:

“We are disappointed in Iowa.  Santorum?  Really?  But we remain hopeful.  There are many Caucasians in New Hampshire and other primary states.  Ron Paul will pull through this.  Watch out for another Moneybomb from us soon.”

The New Hampshire Primary takes place on January 10th.  Paul has a strong base in the state and is expected to show well.

Burn Night 1952

Special Thanks to Coburn Hawk for finding this piece of Burning Man History.

Can anyone spot Larry Harvey?  I think I can.

Found here:  http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwvq87eZqv1qz6f9yo1_500.jpg

From Obama to Riots, the End of the World to the NFL, Daftpunk to Hippies, Consumptionblog presents to you the Top Six Burning Man Stories of 2011:

1. The Kenyan who Came from Hope and but Returned to Black Rock City topped the list this year:

Obama To Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt

2. If it bleeds it leads still rings true in the digital clouds of blogland:

Ticketless Burners Scuffle with Police at Burning Man Office

3. As usual the French come in 3rd:

Daft Punk Cancels Burning Man Appearance

4. The Cultural War Continue to Rage:

Hippies vs Ravers Battle for Supremacy on the Playa

5. Despite the NFL and Burning Man having less than zero in common, they’ve decided to work together:

Burning Man Implements NFL Draft to Sell Tickets

6. The End of the World will be a bigger story in 2012:

New Age Survival Backpack – While Supplies and the Planet Lasts

-And Finally Bonus Burner News Now-

The Question was Finally Asked:

Is Burning Man Foreign Born?

Chris Hitch, meh

Some who know me may be surprised to learn I was no fan of Christopher Hitchens.  The jaded raver in me with a satirical disposition often described in mono-syllabic words ranging from ‘dry’ to ‘dark’ should find something to like and admire about Hitchens right?

To a point.

I always saw Hitchens as a drunk that could win an argument, any argument, with a bit of panache, bile and wit.  I always saw myself as a drunk who could lose an argument, any argument, with a bit of panache, bile and wit.  To the extent that is true, we are polar opposites.

When William S. Burroughs is your hero growing up the idea of Hitchens as some sort of wild eyed contrarian always struck me as not quite right.  Is there anything more mundane than a well educated, equal parts charming and maddening Englishman endlessly drinking, chain smoking and calling Mother Theresa a cunt?

If he was such a contrarian why such fawning remembrances  of him in every milquetoast, middlebrow ‘merican magazine from The Nation to Reason, Salon to Slate, Andrew Sullivan to surely the most pseudo-intellectual feel good grocery store checkout line purchase of the late 20th century for which he wrote, Vanity Fair?

He was prolific to be sure, an admirable virtue to this late blooming lowly blogger.  An entertaining writer and talk show guest no doubt; though one should remember his lackluster competition.  I liked Hitchens best at his arguably least popular in the 90s attacking the Clinton’s and their whole enterprise for being conniving, blood thirsty and the ultimate in the American version of shallow, banal evil.  His militant atheism left this godless heathen cold.  One of the things I abhor about organized religion is precisely its militancy and fundamentalism.  It is no less of a buzzkill when issued from an atheist.  His advocacy of western-led genocide in Iraq and the Middle East always struck me as the pose of an adolescent: ‘Daddy Liberal believes X so I’m going to advocate Y in the most boorish way possible to really piss him off’ and right in the middle of the shopping mall.

My best comparison for Hitchens would be Huxley’s Chrome Yellow.  Well written.  Intellectual.  Satirical.  Dry.  Occasionally brilliant.  But please, more scenes with Barbecue-Smith!  Perhaps a couple good doses of the psilocybin and LSD Huxley would later use could of pushed ‘Hitch’ beyond the rascally English rebel every Beltway pundit could love and admire.

The Wrestlers – Two washed up gay wrestlers struggle with failing health, loss of sphincter control, a straight daughter’s rejection and a constantly topless Marisa Tomei.

Requiem for a Dream -A young girl from small town Orange County moves to Los Angeles with dreams of becoming a Porn Star but slowly descends into the sordid world of commercials and character acting.

Black Swan Diving – Two hot neurotic bitches who like to dance get tarted up, drop Ecstasy in a swank New York City nite club and quickly engage in rampant acts of Sapphic zest.

The Fountain Head – Mayan End Time Prophecy, Death, and Heroic Doses of DMT won’t stand in the way of a little cock sucking…

She’s My 3.14- A 168 minute remake of the classic Warrant Video ‘Cherry Pie’  but slightly less pornographic.  Soundtrack by Johnny Greenwood.