And now for your holiday amusement and titillation five future porn parodies of Darren Aronofsky films you won’t be seeing; at least I hope.
The Wrestlers – Two washed up gay wrestlers struggle with failing health, loss of sphincter control, a straight daughter’s rejection and a constantly topless Marisa Tomei.
Requiem for a Dream -A young girl from small town Orange County moves to Los Angeles with dreams of becoming a Porn Star but slowly descends into the sordid world of commercials and character acting.
Black Swan Diving – Two hot neurotic bitches who like to dance get tarted up, drop Ecstasy in a swank New York City nite club and quickly engage in rampant acts of Sapphic zest.
The Fountain Head – Mayan End Time Prophecy, Death, and Heroic Doses of DMT won’t stand in the way of a little cock sucking…
She’s My 3.14- A 168 minute remake of the classic Warrant Video ‘Cherry Pie’ but slightly less pornographic. Soundtrack by Johnny Greenwood.