Mugwumps Fail to Rally Caucasians to Ron Paul in Iowa

Posted: January 4, 2012 in 2012, News, Politics, Satire
Tags: , , , , , ,

Bleakhouse, IA (CN) – Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul finished third in last night’s Iowa Caucuses disappointing Mugwumps in their native Dagestan.

“We overestimated the number of Caucasians in Iowa no doubt about it,” said Mugwump leader Andrew Sullivan from his lair in the Dagestan capital of Cape Cod.  “And we really shouldn’t have written those newsletters.  In our defense it was our first foray into politics since 1908 when that shit would have worked.”

Andrew Sullivan Pontificates on Ron Paul

The Mugwumps were bolstered in February of 2011 when they were credited with Ron Paul’s Straw Poll Win at the CPAC Conference.  A recent poll surge by Paul in Iowa led many of them to believed they could bring their success to the American Caucuses.

The American Mugwump Association (AMA) released a terse press release this morning stating:

“We are disappointed in Iowa.  Santorum?  Really?  But we remain hopeful.  There are many Caucasians in New Hampshire and other primary states.  Ron Paul will pull through this.  Watch out for another Moneybomb from us soon.”

The New Hampshire Primary takes place on January 10th.  Paul has a strong base in the state and is expected to show well.

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