Saint Roch or Rocco is an old school Catholic saint invoked especially against plague times. It’s a wonder he hasn’t grown in popularity recently or popped up as an analyst on CNN after Fauci is interviewed.
Saint Roch. Stained glass window. Combloux. France.
Lil Rock as he would be known today is also the patron saint of dogs, invalids, the falsely accused and bachelors. How long can a Netflix documentary or mini-series be away?
Moreover, most people, assuming they had not altogether abandoned religious observances, or did not continue them naively with a thoroughly immoral way of living, had replaced normal religious practice by more or less extravagant superstitions. Thus they were readier to wear prophylactic medals of St. Roch than go to Mass.
First off – I loved Chasing Ice the first documentary made by Jeff Orlowski. One of the few documentaries I have watched twice. After watching it I gave the CD copy I had to a family for use in their local school in Guatemala. It was truly an Ice Opening experience (see what I did there). So I was excited to watch the trailer for Jeff’s new documentary The Social Dilemma.
The Social Dilemma flows great – its entertaining, well thought out and produced, has a clear point of view and executes it wonderfully. Its almost as if Netflix put it through an algorithm to optimize it for its choosen audience.
But the premise of the film is both shopworn and troubling.
Wildly popular new media is destroying our society. This new technology is duping people and changing society for the worst. People are so dumb they don’t even realize they are being manipulated. Of course I refer to television.
Satan’s Triangle – Intellectuals Right and Left and Mad Men on top.
On the Right television was attacked for any number of pet causes – Elvis swiveling his hips on Ed Sullivan would cause your teenage daughter to fuck some greaser down the street on the first date. If that didn’t happen she’d soon be a card carrying member of the Communist Party because of all the commies in Hollywood inserting subliminal Red messages into episodes of Gunsmoke.
On the Left television was the new opiate for masses. Instead of working to overthrow capitalism people would come from their hum drum 9 to 5s at the factory and space out to I Dream of Jeannie. This is how the Establishment would preserve order – keep people dumb, numb and unquestioning.
T.V., it
Satellite links
Our United States of Unconsciousness
Apathetic therapeutic and extremely addictive
The methadone metronome pumping out
150 channels 24 hours a day
— Television, the Drug of a Nation
The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy
The top of Satan’s triangle
But it wasn’t just attacks from the Left and Right that made people wring their hands and give credence to their fears about television. Television executives and the flim flam men (Mad Men) of their day feed this narrative as well. Thinking very highly of themselves the people producing all this television bought this narrative as well – ‘Due to the latest in behavorial sciences and knowing what people watch and what they like if we want them to buy Palmolive and Budweiser they’ll buy it. Viewers are the product and the schmucks don’t even know it.’
We are told this Platonic lie all over again in The Social Dilemma. This time the boogieman threatening, at a minimum, societal collapse is social media (multiple elites literally call Facebook an existential threat to continued human existence on the planet with a straight, well groomed face) Facebook and Twitter in particular. The wrong people are now being elected to office, Instagram made being young and going through puberty super tough, workaholic CEOs are bad fathers because of algorithms, Burma was a nice place before Facebook and lots of data is being collected on us plebs and used against us.
I’m a workaholic CEO but Pinterest made me a bad father
And to lecture us about this and make the poor viewer feel outraged, confused and depressed so they click on the next ‘world turns to shit’ documentary Netflix recomends is an exclusive mono-culture club of the very rich 1% of the 1%’ers all of whom are collegues and most of them serve on the board of a ideological pressure group called Center for Humane Technology that dominates 80% of the lecture we are given.
Common People are Invisible
Where are all the common people being hurt by these technologies and making bad choices at the ballot box? They are never shown. Such is the revulsion that these 1% of 1% elites have for the poor filthy fucks living in fly over country that we are instead shown a fictionalized upper middle class family. Vince Kartheiser even makes a cameo as a wink and a nod Easter Egg to the show Mad Men – a show loved by critics and the silicon valley, coastal elite types but watched by very few actual people. Apparently before social media upper middle class American families weren’t vacuous and hollow inside and all was right with the family unit.
A personal story My Aunt and her son. Neither graduated from high school. My Aunt works as a cashier at Dollar General. My nephew has been in and out of jail and prison – most recently an 8 month stint for petty crime and drug stuff. They are the most apolitical people you will ever meet. They are the ignorant lower classes the talking heads in The Social Dilemma concern troll over and over. Last time I saw my aunt and nephew in person a little over a year ago my nephew had just gotten out of 3 month jail term. I was talking to him about what it’s like not to have a smartphone/social media for 3 months. He said something along the lines of ‘I just got a phone again and damn if you have to watch what you say and type, google and facebook know I was in lock up and keep pushing rehab ads and shit like that at me, fucking annoying as shit.’ My Aunt responded along the lines of ‘yeah Facebook knows what I’m going to do before I do, jesus…’
My point is – at this point who the fuck doesn’t know they are being targeted with ads and having their data collected? If my aunt and nephew know, everyone knows.
Why is so much shade being thrown at Facebook and Twitter by the legacy media and the cultural/economic elites since roughly 2015 but before 2015 they were mainly viewed as positive or neutral.
A few guesses: a) Economics first. This is competition for dollars and cents. At some point the New York Times, Washington Post, etc. and the journalists themselves realized their pockets were being picked by these new upstarts and since then its been one negative story after another.
b) The wrong candidates won. Go back and read coverage of Obama’s use of Facebook and social media in 2008. They loved it and praised him and his campaign for it as a masterstroke. Let’s indulge a bit in a counterfactual and say that Fernando Hadad and Hillary Clinton had both won in 2018 and 2016 respectively, both center left candidates – would we see Hadad’s ugly mug shown on the screen as proof the world is going to hell in a handbasket?
c) Class war. In 2008 Facebook was a nice gated community of 100 million (a bit more than 1% of the population, i.e. the 1%) people who mainly looked and thought like the cultural/technological elite talking heads in the Social Dilemma. Now it’s 2.6 billion people, a truly global community and now the line from the these elites and the legacy press is: all these poor lower class and black and brown people doing things and saying things we don’t like, can’t control and don’t agree with – we can’t really say we don’t like them and their opinions. Instead we say: they are so stupid and oppressed – they are being manipulated and controlled and they don’t even know it, the poor sons a bitches. We need to fix this and pronto or we are toast. Again like with television in the 20th century, this line of arguement comes from the Right and Left and the flim flam Mad Men. Sen. Ted Cruz, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Tim Kendall and their intellectual enablers in a vomit inducing polyamourous circle jerk.
I won’t even get into the shocking, irresponsible and ahistorical treatment the people of Burma get. Never mind the legacy of colonialism, extreme poverty and 40 years of a brutal military dictatorship; its all Facebooks fault.
Leave social media alone. It’s fine.* Leave the people alone, they know what they are doing. You know who that is bad for? It’s bad for the legitimacy of the Establishment. They don’t need to be coddled and protected from themselves. Or worse, manipulated in different ways to ensure ‘our four year national mightmare finally comes to an end.’ We aren’t on the verge of civil war or a Year Zero societal meltdown. And if we are, it sure as hell isn’t because of Facebook.
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*Twitter is an abomination and should be banned immediately.
Before the Saturday quarter final World Cup extravaganza against the Dutch take these words to heart: : “Dutch Footballers are Nasty, Brutish, and Tall.” Tommy Hobbes – famous English football commentator at the World Cup in 1651 in Groningen featuring the Oranje menace versus the Kingdom of Silesia.
“Robben is a Wanker”
Team Silesia took the lead on a face paced counter break driving down the right wing and swinging in the Charles I’s head which was used as the ball and headed home by attacking Silesia man mountain Miesko. During the half time interval King Charles II, still smarting over his dead fathers utility in scoring one against his home side ordered the Silesia team drawn and quartered. This is where the term “quarter finals” is derived from. The Kingdom of Silesia, in a state of embarrassment had itself drawn and quartered into four kingdoms, promptly joining the Czech, Poles, Austrians and Germans, never again making it to the knock out stages of a World Cup.
Fernley, NV (CB) – In 2014 Consumptionblog will totally be your source for all news Burning Man. Like CNN in 1991 Consumptionbloggers will be providing 24/7 live news coverage of all events leading up to Burning Man, 2014, ‘Bromance’.
Is there a crowdfunded seance summoning Paul Addis?
Burning Founder
You won’t find this kind of news in the more traditional mainstream media like Harper’s Bazaar or Reddit.
What’s happening today, April 1st, 2014 you ask? Well, not much – it’s about 47F in Gerlach. Some e-mails were sent about the Port-a-Pottie contract. Several Burners complained about waiting 19 minutes at the totally huge new Blue Bottle Coffee cafe in Temescal, Oakland.
When I saw the news flash of a meteorite hitting Russia today I immediately ascribed it’s origins to Burning Man. As a long time Burner, how could I not? For more on this unique event I went to the source, BurningMan.com. What I found was a cover up of all evidence the meteorite stirke was caused by the people who run Burning Man. Burners.me will soon have the full story I am sure.
Percent of the population for whom English is their first language
86% (81% – 90%)
Percent of population who reside in the US
76% (59% – 93%)
Except the fact that Bumblers are all hedonistic consequentialists practicing radical anarcho-syndicalism in all aspects in our lives and thus uniformly vote Republican, sans two wild and wooly Kantian Canadians, you basically nailed the nail on the head with the Burning Hammer of Truth.
Because of this radical self expression of group similarity between Bumblepuss and Burning Man I suggest that in 2013 you simply take a census at Bumblepuss. This would save the time and money of the BMorg and perhaps lower the ticket prices by .25¢. Volunteers could be used for other purposes such as staying in Reno and preparing the Grand Sierra Resort for the after party. Finally, those concerned with the relentless measurement-ization of Burning Man would have their worse Orwellian fears simultaneously assuaged and inflamed.
We at Bumblepuss after a long days work helping naked people into the Steambath Project puff our chests out, put our hands up and say,
“Count Us, Burning Man; for We, Bumblepuss, are Burning Man!”
Dear Consumptives – the following fond remembrance of Daniel ‘Dany Boy’ Inouye, Senator, War Hero and Dead Man was submitted anonymously by an old friend who I once knew as The Minister of Tolerance.
Mortuum Flagellas, Mea Culpa, Danny Boy, Senator
Senator Danny Inouye; a Remembranc
by The Minister of Tolerance
Following the most timely demise of our U.S. Senate President Pro Tempore, I was asked to recall my fondest memory of the senior Senator from our westernmost colony. Thought I’d share it with you:
The year was 1993. I, a lowly page for the House of Representatives was carrying a whole bunch of boxes over to one of the Senate office buildings, because, as you may know, Senate pages are far too busy filling water glasses and taking naps to perform physical work. Said boxes were probably heavy and certainly unwieldy, as I expect they contained the budget books. (Flashback: Those were the OBRA years, halcyon days in which Congress actually managed to pass Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Acts for the entire government! All at once! Every year, no less! They were contained in ridiculously long green-covered tomes from the Government Printing Office that had to be distributed — one per office — throughout the Capitol Complex.)
So anyhoo, here I am, minding my own business, not doing anything too important (just ensuring the continuity of government in the capital of the free world; y’know, nothing major), struggling with all that stuff. I took a bit of a shortcut by riding the subway over to the office complex belonging to Congress’ Elderly Chamber (that is, the Senate). Standing up in the train, I peered over the glass to ensure nobody was coming (those were the old trains, before the Spendthrift Chamber — that is, the Senate — blew all sorts of money on unnecessary robot shuttles), and proceeded to step off with the intent to make my way upstairs.
Contemporaneously, and unbeknownst to me, an old guy from Hawaii was walking around with a bunch of his yes-men, no doubt plotting evil. I have no proof that said evil involved something about making sure that the intern from Indonesia would be able to deliver said Senator’s eulogy in the next century:
“But, sir, we’ll never get Barry Soetoro elected! His name sounds too much like Suharto! Besides, his mother is a… well, let’s just say her name is Stan.”
“Silence, you fool! Just use your last name on the phony birth certificate!”
“But… but… sir, I’m Irish! Nobody will believe his name is O’Bama!”
“Didn’t I tell you to be silent, fool? Haven’t you ever heard of the black Irish?! Now do it before I strike you down with my Hattori Hanzo steel!”
Anyhoo, while the gentleman from Hawaii (state motto: “It’s spelled Hawai’i, dipshit!”) was tossing rude epithets toward his yes-man, said member of the Senior Politicians’ Tour Chamber — that is, the Senate — charged ahead onto the train, specifically in my direction, as fast as his legs could carry him… ultimately slamming full-on into the stack of boxes that poor li’l ol’ me was attempting to lug.
Now, I’m no expert in Newtonian physics, but I know he was doing some kind of evil that violated natural law, because the force apparently acted upon HIM and not me, almost as though I were the one not watching where I was going — which, as you know, is quite impossible.
So at that point, Sen. In-No-Way slammed into the boxes I was carrying, which caused him to tip backwards and nearly fall on his senatorial keister.
It made a noise not unlike *THUD!*, to which the senator replied, “Oof!”
Fortunately for the member of that most august Near-Death Chamber — that is, the Senate — his yes-man was standing directly in line with said keister, absorbing the impact and ensuring that our first Japanese-American Senator remained upright.
Nevertheless, the gentleman from you-know-where had a touch of trouble stabilizing himself, as the spot where the boxes hit was unusual, as it was missing an arm.
Oops.
All I remember was ensuring my ID and nametag was covered up as I hightailed it out of there.
The moral of this story? None, except that we can prove that the senior Senior from the Five-Oh state has (had) no sense of humor, because — at no point — and in no way — (get it? In no way? Inouye? Ha! I kill me!) — in no way did he say, “Nyuk nyuk nyuk.”
Victoria, Australia (CN) – Australia’s sole academic journal concerned with cultural issues and stuff, Meanjin, recently published an article about Burning Man that has breathed new life into the slowly dying desert event.
The author of the article makes several controversial claims about Burning Man such as:
“I worried about the penises…”
“Burning Man began in 1986 on Baker Beach in San Francisco…”
“…bizarre goat-slapping ceremonies involving ridiculous paper-mache goats…” [Editors Note: Fact -There was no paper-mache, that goat was made of asbestos and transcendence.]
Founded by makers of fine cold Australian brew, VB, Meanjin has been published off and on more or less quarterly since 2009. Since the issue was published around beer o’clock on Wednesday the reaction has been mainly positive.
“We think the reaction has been good,” said Meanjin Editor Sally Heath reached at a payphone at the Laundry Bar in Fitzroy. “It’s hard to say really. We don’t allow comments and integration with the Facebook and the Twitter is a bit bourgeoisie. We’re working class. I mean I wouldn’t be caught dead in Vaucluse, even to visit my parents.”
Sally enjoys a word with her sponsor
“Meanjin will almost certainly have a themecamp at the Burn this year,” enthused article author Simone Ubaldi. “The theme ‘Wild West’ is a bit lame, but we’ll make due. 20,000 hippies aren’t going to mock me in your article are they?”
“20,000 hippies can go to hell,” screamed Burning Man founder Larry Harvey from a scratchy payphone near his winter dasha on the Black Sea. “The Burn has felt a bit flat since, well, at least Green Man. This article is just the ‘Melbourican Quicksilver’ we need to jump start the event back to life.”
Australian classic 'Young Einstein' was watched by dozens in 2011
Oolong Burners, a branch of the American Tea Party movement expressed concern for the growing Antipodean influence at the event north of Reno.
“The Kiwis were all over The Temple of Transition this year,” said Oolong Spokesperson Tommy T-Baggin responding via e-mail. “You couldn’t get within 50 metres, I mean yards and if I did mean meters I’d spell it the American way…anyhoo… Ashram Galatica was positively smashed with Aussies. If we don’t watch it Alice Springs will be the new Gerlach in no time. Have you ever been to the Walmart in Alice Springs? Me neither, but $10 says it’s terrible.”
Over the years Meanjin has achieved notoriety in it’s homeland for taking on various cultural taboos including:
Top 10 places to Purchase Heroin in Redfern
Gee Twenty – The Average Australian Vocabulary and John Howard
Essendon vs Collingwood – Why Victorian Sports Suck
Burning Beds – Cultural Hegemony and Midnight Oil
Flight of the Reactionaries – The False Consciousness of Kiwi Humor
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