Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

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Posted: April 15, 2016 in 2016, News, Politics, Satire
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During a long interview Paul Mason envisions a short life for himself.

Recounting the moment last January when the leftist Syriza party was elected to power in Greece, Paul Mason said, “I knew it would be the most important political crisis of my life.”

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Paul Mason Ponders His Quickly Approaching Death

Ronda Rousey Endorsed Bernard Sanders before her fight with Holly ‘H-Bomb’ Holms.

How’d that work out?

 

 

“I’m voting for Bernie Sanders, because he doesn’t take any corporate money.”

Sponsored by Bud Light, UFC, Draft Kings, Monster Energy Drink,  Unibet, Reebok etc.

I did my patriotic duty on this most American holiday week and watched a pirated copy of ‘THE INTERVIEW’.  Movie of the Year. Period.

James Franco and Seth Rogen are equal parts Marx Brothers and Leni Riefenstal and 100% American.

Watch the Triumph Now:

the interview

“So what is Gamergate “really” about? I think this is the sort of question a philosopher of language would tear apart and scatter the remnants of to the wind, because it lacks any real referent. You guys refuse to appoint a leader or write up a platform or really do any of the things real-life, adult “movements” do.” 

Jesse Singal in NYMag

Querida Jesse,

Have you ever been to a protest or protest organizing meeting before?  In particular left wing or anti-war protests out on the streets and corners?  Very little leadership if any.  Very little message control.

Even the recent climate march in NYC lavished with money and professional organizers you could find a thousand messages and a thousand different groups.  Including a lot of whackos.  Who was the leader of that march?

Outside of ‘climate change bad, do stuff’ what exactly was their message or platform?

On a leaderless road to nowhere apparently...

On a leaderless road to nowhere apparently…

Dear Beloved Burners,

Grover Norquist is NOT an example of Radical Inclusion.

He is a privileged white guy with a beard and an MBA.

norquistBman

 

He’ll spend too much at the Walmart in Reno for a bunch of stuff he’ll never use.

He’ll get a bit dusty and see a bunch of awesome art.

He’ll get all pill’d up and dance for six hours at White Ocean one night.

He’ll yell and curse during Exodus on Monday.

He’ll fit right in.

Dear Consumptives – the following fond remembrance of Daniel ‘Dany Boy’ Inouye, Senator, War Hero and Dead Man was submitted anonymously by an old friend who I once knew as The Minister of Tolerance.

mortuum flagellas,mea culpa, Danny Boy, Senator

Mortuum Flagellas, Mea Culpa,   Danny Boy, Senator

Senator Danny Inouye; a Remembranc

by The Minister of Tolerance

Following the most timely demise of our U.S. Senate President Pro Tempore, I was asked to recall my fondest memory of the senior Senator from our westernmost colony. Thought I’d share it with you:

The year was 1993. I, a lowly page for the House of Representatives was carrying a whole bunch of boxes over to one of the Senate office buildings, because, as you may know, Senate pages are far too busy filling water glasses and taking naps to perform physical work. Said boxes were probably heavy and certainly unwieldy, as I expect they contained the budget books. (Flashback:  Those were the OBRA years, halcyon days in which Congress actually managed to pass Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Acts for the entire government! All at once! Every year, no less! They were contained in ridiculously long green-covered tomes from the Government Printing Office that had to be distributed — one per office — throughout the Capitol Complex.)

So anyhoo, here I am, minding my own business, not doing anything too important (just ensuring the continuity of government in the capital of the free world; y’know, nothing major), struggling with all that stuff. I took a bit of a shortcut by riding the subway over to the office complex belonging to Congress’ Elderly Chamber (that is, the Senate). Standing up in the train, I peered over the glass to ensure nobody was coming (those were the old trains, before the Spendthrift Chamber — that is, the Senate — blew all sorts of money on unnecessary robot shuttles), and proceeded to step off with the intent to make my way upstairs.

Contemporaneously, and unbeknownst to me, an old guy from Hawaii was walking around with a bunch of his yes-men, no doubt plotting evil. I have no proof that said evil involved something about making sure that the intern from Indonesia would be able to deliver said Senator’s eulogy in the next century:

“But, sir, we’ll never get Barry Soetoro elected! His name sounds too much like Suharto! Besides, his mother is a… well, let’s just say her name is Stan.”

“Silence, you fool! Just use your last name on the phony birth certificate!”

“But… but… sir, I’m Irish! Nobody will believe his name is O’Bama!”

“Didn’t I tell you to be silent, fool? Haven’t you ever heard of the black Irish?! Now do it before I strike you down with my Hattori Hanzo steel!”

Anyhoo, while the gentleman from Hawaii (state motto: “It’s spelled Hawai’i, dipshit!”) was tossing rude epithets toward his yes-man, said member of the Senior Politicians’ Tour Chamber — that is, the Senate — charged ahead onto the train, specifically in my direction, as fast as his legs could carry him… ultimately slamming full-on into the stack of boxes that poor li’l ol’ me was attempting to lug.

Now, I’m no expert in Newtonian physics, but I know he was doing some kind of evil that violated natural law, because the force apparently acted upon HIM and not me, almost as though I were the one not watching where I was going — which, as you know, is quite impossible.

So at that point, Sen. In-No-Way slammed into the boxes I was carrying, which caused him to tip backwards and nearly fall on his senatorial keister.

It made a noise not unlike *THUD!*, to which the senator replied, “Oof!”

Fortunately for the member of that most august Near-Death Chamber — that is, the Senate — his yes-man was standing directly in line with said keister, absorbing the impact and ensuring that our first Japanese-American Senator remained upright.

Nevertheless, the gentleman from you-know-where had a touch of trouble stabilizing himself, as the spot where the boxes hit was unusual, as it was missing an arm.

Oops.

All I remember was ensuring my ID and nametag was covered up as I hightailed it out of there.

The moral of this story? None, except that we can prove that the senior Senior from the Five-Oh state has (had) no sense of humor, because — at no point — and in no way — (get it? In no way? Inouye? Ha! I kill me!) — in no way did he say, “Nyuk nyuk nyuk.”

“I’m really more and more becoming Stalinist. Hey, come here baby…”

Ljubljana, (CN) – Slavoj the Slovenian Stalinist loved by leftists worldwide explained why the Occupy Movement failed so miserably.

“Occupy? Yes, it’s OK – some great talks, some great arts. Concrete people? No, 99% are boring idiots.”

A committee has been formed by the Occupy Movement to formulate a response.