Some people in the universe have claimed the Burn of 2022 was, like, really really hard. I came away inspired. Inspired to spread the gospel of Burning Man into corners not traditionally associated with #BurnerLife
Mixed martial arts and boxing fans are an underrepresented community at the Burn. Less so with each passing year despite the best efforts of Death Guild. There are tens of millions fight fans out there and they could really freshen the Burn up a bit. Imagine hundreds of Dagestani fighters wrestling bears on the Esplanade. I bet you haven’t seen that before on the playa.
Yes, the Burn was a bit dusty and at times the winds were challenging but there are so many communities that haven’t yet experienced it. Maybe for you it isn’t mixed martial arts fans but the Wisconsin Lions Club or your local Pipefitters Union. Look around you, unless you live in certain parts of the Bay Area almost every community you see hasn’t experienced the Burn. Maybe they should.
Not posted until after the Burn so sadly this was no help to you, apologies – ED
“It was desert when we got here, officer.” Larry Harvey, 1991
Who, How, Which Guide 1991
The Burn of 1990
In the absence of humans for the past two years the Black Rock desert has returned to full bloom. Once upon a time Larry Harvey, Chicken John and other intrepid early Burners left San Francisco to colonize the Greater Gerlach Metropolitan Area (GGMA). Back in the day it wasn’t a desert but a perfectly preserved Pleistocene era forest complete with Woolly Mammoths. Beginning their trip in Spring they arrived in Gerlach and started chopping down the forest and hunting the last remaining Mammoths to extinction. They used the wood to build the first Man and other art structures, the furs and fat from the Mammoth to make warm furry coats decorated with trinkets and to make torches to light the way at night. Some of these traditions still survive. But after several Burns the forest did not. Desertification took hold and the last tree was chopped down in 2007 at Green Man to make the spine of the twice Burned man.
But now, sadly, its all grown back like a Talking Heads song:
Once there were port-a-potties Now it’s a peaceful oasis You’ve got it, you’ve got it
This was a Porn and Eggs Now it’s all covered with daisies You got it, you got it
I miss the Jiffy Lubes, Robot Hearts, and Barbie Death Camp
You got it, you got it
Bring an axe. While the Early Arrival crew has been busy chopping down the forest to bring back the desert we all love (thank you!), it won’t be totally cleared. Our location, 8 and E will be about 20% White Spruce. We’ll cut it down and make cricket bats to gift to our fellow Burners. There’s nothing quite like the Burner Principles of Immediacy and Radical Self Reliance than clear-cutting the area you will live on with a great team of Bumblers.
Most wildlife will have fled but some will remain. Giant Beaver, Musk Ox and Reindeer are sure to be spotted. Firearms are prohibited so they will need to be hunted with bow and arrow. Bikes will be practically useless with all the tree stumps, rotting animal carcasses and other natural detritus creating a bumpy ride – free up some space and leave the bikes at home. Bring a jacket. The new ice age is windy, overcast and chilly – it will take several Burns to return the Black Rock to its full platonic version of a desert.
I look forward to working with you Burners to bring back the natural environs of Black Rock Desert that our Creators and Founders envisioned and made happen with LSD, sweat and chainsaws.
Soon an announcement will be made in regards to tickets for this years’ 2022 thing in the desert, AKA Burning Man. You should be excited.
Bumblepuss and Nectarvillage intend to participate to our fullest and to make it our best year since the Burn of 2003, which will never be topped.
Some of you may have heard of Covid-19. Still fewer Bumbleers have concerns about Covid-19 and related misanthropic pandemic-ery. I am here to address those Bumblers with such knowledge and related concerns.
Rest assured Bumblers. Bumble Elders have met and we have a plan.
In order that there be not only equality but equity at Bumblepuss and NectarVillage it has been decided that all Bumblers and future Bumblers planning to camp with us in 2022 need to show proof of being infected with Covid-19 at some time within the last five years.
Priority will be given to certain Covid-19 variants. Those who received the OG ChinaFlu variant in 2019 through November 2020 will be admitted automatically. Those who were gifted the Delta Tau Delta variant will have points deducted from their application but are likely to get in. Bumblers blessed with the Alpha and Omega variants may be asked to camp elsewhere. Those special Bumblers who are granted the Omnikrom virus or any of the variants from January 19th, 2022 forward with the express purpose of camping with Bumblepuss will be made Camp Leads as reward for your special dedication and initiative to all things Bumble.
If you have any questions, just realize all decisions by Bumble Elders are final.
Official statement from Burning Man Corp. about the Covid-19 ‘Corona’ virus.
Tenderloin, SF March 9th 2020 (Global Playawire) – In recent days Burning Man HQ has been bombarded by questions, concerns and wild, unhinged demands concerning this years Burn and Covid19, playa name ‘Dusty Corona‘. Frankly we’ve been appalled by most of your inquiries but nonetheless feel compelled to respond lest even worse rumors and fear mongering narratives get granted default legitimacy by our silence.
So listen and listen good.
Say ‘Yes’ to Corona
People actively hosting the Corona virus will be allowed into Burning Man this year so long as they are ticket holders and are not trying to smuggle weapons, fireworks, animals or face masks. The 12 Principals are quiet clear about this: RADICAL INCLUSION doesn’t just mean inviting your friends or allowing a Bloomberg voter to camp with you – it means actively welcoming carriers of a catastrophic global public health pandemic into the Steambath Project, on your art car, and yes, in your bacon.
If you can’t handle it there is always Coachella.
Safety will remain a distant 3rd. After a behind closed door vote by the 32nd Council of Burning Man Elders (CBE), the 11th Principal – ‘Safety Third’ will remain 3rd and not be moved up to ‘Safety 2nd’ displacing Gorilla tape and zip ties. In practice this means people with Corona virus will be admitted with a ticket (see above) and any face mask that looks like it might be effective will be confiscated at the gate.
Burning Man is an Experiment: And like any good experiment it will be studied by people who are better than you. Scientists will be seen on the playa in large numbers carrying out varied and sundry medical and scientific studies to better understand what happens when a deadly global virus experiencing hockey stick growth is embraced by an open, loving community like Burners. A few notable examples will be MAPS conducting nightly tests on 1000 subjects at White Ocean of whether 2C-B is a potential vaccine for the Corona virus. Foam Against the Machine will also be testing Dr. Bronners Magic Soap as a possible super fun and foamy topical vaccine.
You have already given your consent to on-demand blood, saliva and other specimen testing. If you don’t believe us, read the back of your ticket and don’t be surprised when you are required to give a blood sample to some guy jumping out of a golf cart in a hazmat suit near the Temple at 2am yelling. “YOU’VE BEEN CHOSEN! YOU’VE BEEN CHOSEN! Corona virus and the 12 Principals; we believe
We believe that the Radical Inclusion of Corona virus carriers on the playa is a Gift untainted by Commodification. We believe the Corona virus is fully Self Reliant and excited to fully Express itself at Burning Man this year. We believe if there are any negative effects of Corona virus on the playa that our Communal Effort and sense of Civic Responsibility will allow us to leave for the Grand Sierra Resort with No Trace of Corona virus interrupting the Immediacy of jumping in the pool head first, Safety Third.
See you dusty Burners. Please, for the love of Larry Harvey, no more questions.
CONSUMPTION BLOG 