Breaking News – Ticketless Burners Scuffle with Police at Burning Man Office

Posted: July 25, 2011 in BurningMan, Satire
Tags: , , , , , ,

update 4:36 pst – the riots earlier in the day have largely dissipated.  One car has been set ablaze (don’t worry it was a hybrid), there is a bunch of broken beer bottles around the Tenderloin office front of BurningMan Corp. HQ (like there is everyday) and a couple strange looking people linger muttering complaints who may be Burners, but maybe not.

Catch up on the full story below as it happened.

If Anything else happens related to today’s SF BurningMan ticket riot – it will be updated here on Consumptive Newswire

update 2:07 pst: A combination of SpaceCowboy Unimog funky downtempo House, micro brew, and a nearby marijuana buyers co-op appears to have calmed the situation down.  People still angry and ticketless but grooving to the music, blissed out, buzzed.

update: 1:15 pst: Longtime Burner and SF resident CrankyDust is on the scene at the BurningMan HQ ticket riots and gives this report: ‘It’s The Playapocalypse down here – glitter and flames and ticketless people everywhere, total chaos, just like the Burn of ’94 – this is great!

update 12:51 pst: news breaking quickly now – BurningMan reports they’ve hired Hells Angels DPW (even worse), Space Cowboys Unimog to supress rioting.  Riot police called off.

update 12:43 pst: Consumptive News has just received official comment from BurningMan Corp. HQ on the Burner Ticket riots:

“We’ve expected this for a while now and all the BM Corp. staff are locked in the panic room drinking a bottle of Jameson’s someone left us from Exodus last year, its good shit.”

update: follow events on #fuckyouburningman

Tenderloin, SF (CN) – Consumptive News is getting early reports of ticketless Burners scuffling with police and scaring homeless crackheads at BurningMan Inc. Corporate HQ in Tenderloin.  One car reported ablaze.

This comes as news spreads that BurningMan has sold out of tickets.

Burning Man Corp. HQ

More Info. as news comes in – please post pics and information in the comments section if you are on the scene.

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Comments
  1. Veleda says:

    I’ve seen women with bright pink hairfalls carrying sledgehammers running towards the scene. 🙂

  2. Troy Dayton says:

    The Flaming Lotus Girls have just shown up with flame throwers….one BMORG employeee has already been lit on fire.

  3. t. dazzl says:

    Reportedly, Burning Man HQ has hired DPW folks as security…but some are defecting.

  4. Typo fixed:
    Reportedly, Burning Man HQ has hired DPW folks as security…but some are defecating.

  5. So sad…now it’s all going to be over forever. Poor Larry. Poor us. Life will never be the same:( http://theshroom.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/harvey-announces-2011-is-final-burning-man/

  6. Freddy Hahne says:

    If you have an extra, this guy could use one.

  7. […] Man.  However that’s all about to change.  In an effort to alleviate last years chaos that engulfed San Francsico in riots when Burning Man sold out of tickets without warning the governing Board of Directors have taken a […]

  8. […] Ticketless Burners Scuffle with Police at Burning Man Office […]

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