CONSUMPTION BLOG

Perfectly Cooked Bacon for the Masses

by Robin

It was stunning to me to realize that I had not shared my perfect bacon 
cooking method prior to 2010.  Apparently the breakfast shift I was on was the first time many Bumblers were the recipients of my 
perfectly cooked bacon.  T-Dazzle remembers it from our time together at HeeBees.  This is the method to getting all of your bacon 
cooked all at once perfectly.  You can have it as crispy or chewy as you 
want.  And this method cuts down on the little snatchers who like to sneak 
bacon before the entire meal is done!  BACK YOU RABID BUMBLERS!  YOU  MUST 
WAIT UNTIL THE EGGS ARE DONE!  Oh, whoops, the eggs exploded in the boiler. 
I guess I should share my recipe for strained eggs also.  See below!

Your Typical Bumbler Breakfast

BACON
In order to have all of the bacon done all at once, and perfectly for that 
matter, you must put all of the bacon in the pan at once.  Yes.  Pile it 
in!  5 pounds if you must!  As long as the pan is not overflowing, it will 
work just fine.  You just have to keep stirring.  KEEP STIRRING!  STIR THE 
BACON!  It may take 20 or 30 minutes, depending on how dark you like it, but 
trust me, when you pull all of it out at once and put it all out there for 
the hungry Bumblers, no one will complain.  Each piece will be cooked 
exactly like the next, and all the way through. It will all be warm!  No 
half-charred, half-raw pieces here.  Oh no.  This bacon is perfect.

These go well with Bacon

STRAINED EGGS
Hopefully we won’t have to use this method again!  If your egg bag explodes 
in the boiler, fear not.  Juicy eggs are just a strain away!  Simply get the 
colander and a friend to help you.  Discreetly bring the boiler of eggs and 
the colander to the gray water.  Whether its early in the week or later will 
determine how careful you need to be about people seeing you strain the 
eggs.  It might not matter as much later on in the week!  Anyway, one person 
holds the colander over the gray water container and the other person 
carefully pours the watery eggs into the colander.

Voila!

Strained eggs. 
Perfect for any occasion.