Archive for the ‘Porn’ Category

And now for your holiday amusement and titillation five future porn parodies of Darren Aronofsky films you won’t be seeing; at least I hope.

The Wrestlers – Two washed up gay wrestlers struggle with failing health, loss of sphincter control, a straight daughter’s rejection and a constantly topless Marisa Tomei.

Before the Academy Knows Your Dead

Requiem for a Dream -A young girl from small town Orange County moves to Los Angeles with dreams of becoming a Porn Star but slowly descends into the sordid world of commercials and character acting.

Fuck You Harry Dean Stanton

Black Swan Diving – Two hot neurotic bitches who like to dance get tarted up, drop Ecstasy in a swank New York City nite club and quickly engage in rampant acts of Sapphic zest.

That’s Awesome Show!

The Fountain Head – Mayan End Time Prophecy, Death, and Heroic Doses of DMT won’t stand in the way of a little cock sucking…

DMT is a Hell of a Drug

She’s My 3.14– A 168 minute remake of the classic Warrant Video ‘Cherry Pie’  but slightly less pornographic.  Soundtrack by Johnny Greenwood.

There Will Be Pie
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Apparently they have been on Twice!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NBC found a provocative new way to promote their  game show – Twin porn stars with a heart of gold – from Kansas no less. I Shit You Not.

They are hot.

They are dressed identical.

In knee high socks and pigtails.

The kicker – all the money goes to an orphanage.  Isn’t that cute.

The excruciatingly drawn out, dull, ad heavy even for network TV game show is saved only by the grace of long shots of the twin porn stars holding each other, staring into each others sexy little faces while the entire audience mentally undresses and fucks them over and over again.

I believe Bill Hicks predicted this except they still have their clothes on.  For now.

It’s a hell of an improvement over watching Howie Mandel for an hour.

It’s called Minute to Win It, but does anyone really care – we got hot-t twins baby!