Ahoy there Burners!
Join me in song for this year’s Burn with a classic Sea Shanty written by Larry the Sailor Man after his poorly built ship wrecked on Baker Beach in 1986.
Blow the Man Down
Verse
“As I was a-walking down Paradise Street,
A pretty young sparkle pony I chanced for to meet.
She had whisky on her breath and Alo Yoga on her waist,
And I took in my hands a few minutes to waste.
Chorus:
Blow the man down, Burners!, blow the man down!
To me way hay, blow the man down!
Blow the man down, Burners!, blow the man down!
Set fire to thee and blow the man down!
Verse
She said, “I can dance, I can sing, I can play,
And if you will playa-marry me, I’ll hula-hoop all damn day.”
But I said, “My little pony, I must exodus, I can’t stay,
For I’m bound for the Reno GSR and I’m sailing away.”
Chorus:
“Blow the man down, Burners! blow the man down!
To me way hay, blow the man down!
Blow the man down, Burners!, blow the man down!
Set fire to thee and blow the man down!”
I confess I’ve sung that countless times on the playa and it never gets old.
As you’ll recall in 2023 the Theme of the Burn was ‘Noah’s Ark’. Attendees were expecting the amazing Canuck Trojan Horse of 2011 or thought it was a metaphor about all coming together in community to save the future of humanity through workshops, drugs and zipties.
No one took it literally.
Instead, what the Bman organization provided as stated on the back of your ticket (if only you’d just read it) was a deluge of water not out of place in the Old Testament or Portland.
The logistical and engineering feat of collecting, storing and releasing trillions of decalitres of water in underground caches on the Ranch will be studied for decades.
The media flipped the fuck out.
Burners took it all in stride.
Today as I return home to the playa what do I find?
The Theme should tell you all you need to know?
This year the playa is as tranquil and peaceful as I’ve seen it in years. After the deluge the Sea has finally returned to the playa after thousands of years of rampant procrastination.
Imagine waking up in your hexayurt to the sound of birdsong, the croak of frogs and the gentle lap of waves against your art-boat/barge/yacht. You check the gill nets you set the night before to see if you’ve caught any pike or perch to gift for:
Camp Pelican Lake’s Friday Nights Fuzzy Navel Fish Fry. (8:23 & T)
After making a cup of coffee you sit with a campmate and dip your feet in the water. It’s warm and at an average depth of only 18 metres, not too deep. The Tantric Scuba workshop at Camp The Bends was a highlight of yesterday afternoon. You and your friend peruse Rockstar Yellow Submarine to see who is playing Thursday night at White Ocean Cruises and…
‘Wow, it’s a Banger, lets get pilled up for this!’
- Billy Ocean b2b Hall & Boats
- John Aquaviva
- Scum Frog
- The Lonely Island
- Paavo from Below and Beyond
- Sunrise set from Primus
A few quick addendums to the Survival Guide. DO bring a personal flotation device. DO NOT BRING YOUR BIKE unless it’s a paddle bike.
MOOP and LNT will be difficult this year – a sump pump and pool nets on long polls are a must for your floating camp and/or village or endure the wrath of the Eco-Guardian Navy.
Narcotics, hallucinogens, various GLP-1s and even nicotine have always been popular at Burning Man but consider a psychedelic refresh in line with the theme. This year I recommend your night time fun stack look something like this:
Enjoy yourselves Burners, it’s a whole new playa out there, exciting and new.
Maybe be safe if you want, but no pressure and stuff.
CONSUMPTION BLOG 