Breaking News: Obama to Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt

Posted: July 27, 2011 in BurningMan, News, Politics, Satire
Tags: , , , , , ,

Update: Four Days Left to Bid on Obama Burning Man Tickets

Washington, DC (CN) – As part of intense, last minute negotiations with Republicans on raising the national debt ceiling President Obama has offered to sell his and Michelle’s Burning Man tickets.

The President said all profit from the sale of the two tickets will be applied to lowering the federal debt.

It was announced last weekend that BurningMan had sold out for the first time since tickets were introduced at the Burn of 80 AD when it was first held at the Roman Colosseum.  Prices for Burning Man tickets rose on global commodity markets when trading opened Monday.  The value of a single ounce of Burning Man ticket has now risen faster, higher, and stronger than gold.

“The Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner has advised me that under the current economic climate we should be able to haul in about $20,000 a ticket,” said President Obama in a statement in the White House Rose Garden.  He was later seen weeping with Michelle as he repacked a dusty set of fire poi and a pink fuzzy full length jacket.

The offer to sell the ticket was accepted by the Republicans and Democrats in a rarely seen moment of honest bi-partisanship.

“As much as I’d love to see Obama in the great state of Nevada wearing a pink tutu spinning poi, sometimes the welfare of the country comes first”, said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV).  “But just barely.”

“I’m not sure what Burning Man is,” said a confused GOP House Speaker John Boehner.  “But I guess it’s better the QE3.”

Obama had been to Burning Man twice before being elected Commander in Chief.  He also sold his 2009 tickets, but only for a measly $300 on Craigslist.

Comments
  1. Flipit says:

    Poor luck for Barack. In 2008, he had to miss because he had a convention the same week in Colorado to go speak at – the Democratic National Convention

  2. Obama to Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt

  3. Sitka says:

    Totally hilarious. Good work.

  4. HooDatIS? says:

    this article is so darn funny, u made it sound so interesting
    have a good one

    http://wp.me/p1sC4M-mL

  5. Mel says:

    Love it, thank you!

  6. […] Breaking News: Obama to Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt […]

  7. This is fucking hyterical

  8. This is fucking hysterical

  9. […] on to their tickets after all and do all they can to make it out in the end. (Unless you’re Obama, who apparently made the sacrifice and sold hist tickets to ease the federal […]

  10. Brian Tseng says:

    Sheeeyit, the way tix prices are going up after selling out (ouch, the price of procrastination is one rough mo-fo!), those 2 tix should be able to plug the national debt… or at least cover the interest payments.

  11. exchanghibition says:

    http://blog.artasmoney.com/art-as-money/burning-man-ticket-for-a-million/

    A million for a ticket at least is a start……..

  12. John says:

    I think he should be the man that gets burned.

  13. […] Duo Daft Punk, Chicken Jon, anyone with the word ‘dusty’ in their playa name and Barack and Michele Obama. These beloved Burners automatically get gifted […]

  14. […] Obama To Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt […]

  15. […] blog post”>added complexity. Although just like previous years, people need to have budgeted the money early in the year to buy […]

  16. Scotty Rocket says:

    This photo montage was poached from my FB account!
    I created this image in August 2010 and posted as a joke.
    I see you have enjoyed using it! Pleas post a photo credit for me.

  17. Scotty Rocket says:

    It was a facebook post. I poached the Obama image from a news feed and added in the scan of my tickets. I also did one that day with Steve Jobbs. Glad you wrapped a story around it and people are enjoying the humor!

  18. Sony Roy says:

    I have a breaking news, How do I sell it?

    a) The 1964 CIVIL RIGHTS ACT has been breached in Federal Courts.

    b) The piece of legislature that promoted race relations in America and banned segregation is breached.

    c) There is the largest individual lawsuit for property rights and segregation ever launched in America in the Upper $25 Billion Dollars currently in Appellate court

    d) There is an up coming movie about it and I HOLD THAT TITLE

    e) There are two up coming Books about it and I HOLD THAT TITLE

    f) There is the branding on the way currently already started

    g) There will be untold of p[ro,otial items for sale

    h) There are currently 75 blogs and 30 websites already done and ready to go while the target is 300 blogs, 200 websites and 2 million links in cyberspace.

    If you are interested, Contact me at (240) 786-8637

    You can see my petition below

    See also our response to Judge Cebull’s Racist Joke here

    http://morethanapology.blogspot.com/

    • Marc says:

      Roy,

      If Obama goes to Burning Man in your Movie, I am very interested…

      • The LAST and Final steps ~`In Removing Obama From Washington, are upon us.

        The Final Chapter of { OBAMA. } ~` His Terrorist Connections AND His WorldWide Co-Conspirators, have been REELED – in, Like Fish, on a Fishing line /

        Swallowing Hook, Line and Sinker, Deep Throating the entire Pole, up to the Steel Reel.

        All of Obama’s Corrupt Political Partners in Washington, have also been REELED in, like an OLD TIME Reel to Reel Movie PROjECTOR.

        THEIR eXposure has successfully been Framed and They are NOW `Seen {CAPTURED} UPON the Screen, eXposed and Snared in the VERY OWN TRAPS, that

        they Themselves had set for YOU- [ The Prey ] The American Citizens.

        These traitors, have FALLEN Head-Long, Down into the very SAME eXact Pits, that THEY themselves HAD dug for YOU, { the Game ]\ American Citizens.

        All of Obamas Corrupted Political Partners in Washington and Terrorist Connections and His Co-Conspirator WORLDWIDE, have been Snared / CAUGHT in

        the very Jaws that they had Sprung for YOU, The American Citizens.

        Their Ropes and Lines of DECEPTION, TREASON and FRAUD, that They had Drawn, Planted, eXtended and INTENDED to Hang and Trip Up YOUR Freedoms {

        YOU The American Patriots / Great Sons and Daughters of Liberity } These Ropes, Have ALL been Un Tied, Unravled and Unstrung.

        You MUST continue A Peaceful Resistance. You MUSt Maintain a POSITIVE, AGGRESSIVE, firm Focus on the Facts and Truth /\ as WE Stand by OUR

        convictions and NEVER Fall or Surrender to this mob of Traitors :

        In Fact, THE ONLY THING in America – that was trully Needing`“ CHANGE ” ! Was Barry or Barack Hussein OR, .Soetoro OR….Obama the JR. l. or

        II. ………… HIMSELF. !

        Obama, has MADE every criminal CHANGE to his reality that is possible, to Disguise his NAME with many LIES and Forgeries, With multiple FAKE Social

        Security numbers for his entire adult life.

        ALL eXXXposed. ! ` And Americans are NOT Impressed with his Network of Degenerate Thieves, Terrorists and RIPP OFF SCAMMERS and Cons, all PARADING

        and Masquerading as Crack Heroes.

        Obama {the Fraud} Then HOPED and CHANGED himself into becoming the first CRACK HEAD President in History.
        Incorporating the criminal template / master-plan of his Entire Life, into CHANGE for the UNITED STATES Herself.
        The Model ? Was HIS very own Dispicable, Unethical, Cowardly and Dishonorable – IMAGE.
        Barack Hussein Obama II ~( Who HATES American Values ) who is A ” SELF PROCLAIMED Religious and Political Enemy” ~0f ALL Responsible, Morally

        Conscious and HARD WORKING Americans.
        …The UN~CHANGEABLE, Cowardly, Fraud, has done His VERY BEST to Inspire His Degenerate MOb to VIOLENCE.
        LITERALLY, Saying ………To his supporters.Saying “Get ready for HAND-to-HAND Combat with your Fellow Americans ! !
        “I want all Americans to get in each others faces !– ^ Obama `Demands !
        “You bring a KNIFE to a fight pal, we’ll bring a GUN” – ! **
        THESE ARE OBAMAS very OWN WORDS.. “We talk To these folks…~ / so I know whose A*$ to KICK.“ALSO` Shouting THAT Republican victory would

        mean~“Hand to Hand combat” !

        ….PLEASE…. go Now !— To reXes, All NEW WebsiTe ^~ CLICK HERE http://obomlnation.webstarts.com/index.html

        Please stand For Loving Children and the USA. Respectfully and Thankfully, Thank you ALL for your Time. http://obomlnation.webstarts.com/index.html

  19. Marc says:

    I thought he was just Kenyan – wow…

  20. […] Consumption Archive: Obama to Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt Posted on June 27, 2012 by Consumption Blog  From the archives of Consumption blog 2011: […]

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