What follows is a timeline of the history and development of Bumblepuss and Nectarvillage through the hagiographic eyes of, well, me.
1898 – Leon Czolgosz attends the Burn held that year in Havana which ended in a crude representation of The Man named ‘USS Maine’ blown to smithereens.
1901 – Having a particularly hard decompression after searching for bacon grease fried falafel for years without success Leon assassinates King McKinley at Akron Ohio’s one and only subway stop. He is quickly convicted but before being hung by the neck until death gives birth to Soup and Marc through his armpit. Soup and Marc are separated soon after birth.
1935 – Akron, OH – Soup and Marc find themselves mysteriously re-united in the town of their fathers downfall in a tuberculosis ward where they are given large amounts of laudanum by one Doktor Random and in the wavvvvy symbiotic ether-state realize their mutual origins. They soon recover, write the first edition of this book published in 1939 titled ‘A Very Short History of Bumblepuss’ which is an odd mixture of recipes, tales of the occult, and reoccurring character named SteamGoat Billy. They then join the Army Rangers Psy-Trance Unit and spend the war torturing Germans with Dropkick Murphy covers and pre-electronic Progressive House re-mixes.
1950 – The first edition of ‘A Very Short History of Bumblepuss’ sells poorly but develops a cult following in America, Canada and other less important parts of the world. The early Bumble devotees are so dedicated that an international meeting is held in Cleveland, OH and people actually show up. Bumblepuss and it’s adherents festers in leaps and starts like a slow growing skin disease on the nice to look at bits of the female body. Many Bumblepussies as they are now known attend Burning Man which starts happening regularly every three or four years at spots around the globe.
Soup is nowhere to be found and gives wildly varying accounts of his movements in his 1996 autobiography ‘I’m on a Boat’, turns up in Perris, CA speaking French and looking like a bald, fat Marlin Brando with a Messiah complex; proceeds to start Weight Watchers.
Marc moves to Lowell, MA where he spends most of the 60s and early 70s watching repeats of The Wonder Years on BlueRay and wondering where those years are exactly.
During these years in the wilderness for the two prestidigitatoresque Bumble founders Ilia and Allie take care of the day to day governance of Bumble Nation. Traveling the United States in a magic yellow bus with a group of Bumblers and selling education books door to door made out of blotter paper they spawn 1000s of Love Children and future Bumblers in the lower 48 and the province of Alberta.
1976 – Soup, Marc Allie & Ilia meet up at a Bob’s BigBoy in Burbank and decide over a Decadent Hot Fudge Cake and a side of Onion Rings the time is right to re-unite the Bumble diaspora in a mass ceremony to take place in Korea. Several diners and two short order cooks The Buffer and Quayle overhear the conversation and go on to play leading roles in the development of Modern Bumblepuss as well as discovering solar power and radium.
1986 – Soup meets Scott, an early HBGB Healer, at a ski convention in Aspen. Scott shares tantric secrets with Soup. Soup decides Scott doesn’t have enough ‘O’s but too many ‘T’s in his name and thus he becomes Scooter. Both men witness Massimiliano Blardone conquer Beaver Creek and decide they are horrible skiers and soon leave the industry. Nectar Village is formed.
1989 – Soup and Marc are put on trial for their part in attempting to turn the East German Stasi into an Amway distributorship – the Berlin Wall falls soon afterwards.
Next – Part Two – from Galvanized Corpses to Steambath and Epiphany’s First Date.