BRC Rangers Raid #OccupyBurners in Empire.

Posted: December 1, 2011 in BurningMan, News, Politics, Satire
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Washoe County, NV (CN) – In a late night action Black Rock Rangers raided the OccupyBurners camp in the former town of Empire.  There were no reports of injuries or violence during the raid.

After a brief, intense Roman Candle Battle between OccupyBurners and BRC Rangers 26 Burners were turned over to the Washoe County Police for deportation to a dodgy casino in Carson City.  An estimated 50 other Burners began a 10 hour Exodus to the Grand Sierra Resort in Reno to begin Post-Occupation Decompression [POD] and catch a show by techno act Pretty Lights.

A spokesperson for Washoe County Sheriff Department talked to Consumptionblog after the raid.

Why was the raid conducted?:

“We removed the Burners for their own good – it’s cold out there, their domes are not up to winter in the high desert.  Crotchless pink jeans and burn barrels just don’t cut it.”

Why did you employ volunteer Black Rock Rangers to go in first?

“We saw what happened at UC Davis.  A lot of our officers look like Lt. Pike.  Some are even related.  There was no way we were going in there with force to remove Burners.  We contacted the Burning Man folks and they said there were plenty of Alpha Hippie Rangers who would take time off work, gather their carabines, khaki and buttons and impose order where it was needed.”

A handful of Burners had begun Occupation of the hamlet of Empire, NV after the 2011 Burn.  Empire had been abandoned earlier in the year after US Gypsum Corp. closed down operations at the gypsum mine as the housing market left it’s mortal coil.  Gypsum is the main ingredient in drywall, a key component to building shit like houses.

A SpokesBurner for OccupyEmpire ‘Gypsum Rose’ answered questions via Twitter during Exodus.

“#ows We are the 99% of Washoe County #occupyburners #occupyempire”

“We demanded the 1% of Washoe County return to Gypsum Mining #ows #occupyburners”

“Burners Built some awesome domes, a library, communal kitchen in Empire.  Comfort and Joy donated a gym. #occupyempire #ows”

“The new #lottery system benefits only the rich Burners #BurningMan #OWS”

“Rangers are now officially worse than Placement #BurningMan #OWS #OccupyBurningMan”

“We don’t want to go back to Oakland.  #oo #OWS #MrFloppysFlophouse”

It’s rumored that the ruins of Empire will be used as a home for wild horses being brought in to replace DPW at the 2012 Burn.

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Comments
  1. ridgerunnerdad says:

    You gotta love a community that understands how to approach its own members with a complaint from the neighbors. And a community that can say; ‘ Fun is fun and we don’t want to upset anyone.’ Wish I could have been there, before, during, and after.

  2. Marc says:

    It was a moment to behold for sure…

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