Posts Tagged ‘yoga’

Undefeated 2008 losing Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin prefers Anusara to Ashtanga yoga due to emphasis on adho mukha vrksasana or handstand.

Sarah in full Adho Mukha Vrksasana on a beach near Juneau, AK

The e-mail was found as part of a dump of over 24,199 pages of printed emails from Palin, some of them from the future.  An an e-mail dated December 21st, 2012 responding to a questions from Emily Buck of the James Madison University College Republicans says in part:

Emily, I’d really urge you to consider taking Anusara.  I tell ya they are big on the headstand.  The first time I achieved Adho Mukha Vrksasana in class it cleared my flippin’ head out.  I was so relaxed afterwards I literally fell asleep during Shavasana.

As for the boiled peanuts – you betcha!

Regards,

Sarah

It’s rumored Bristol Palin is all about Iyengar but could not be confirmed at press time.

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With 2012 quickly approaching and destruction all around us isn’t it time you prepared for the worst Gaia and the Obama administration has to throw at you?

From the creators of Chia-ShivaPet © comes Aquarius Survival Pack ™-

‘Because you didn’t survive your past life.’ ™

Each Backpack comes equipped to help you and your two closest poli partners (choose wisely) commune with Nature for at least a week after any disaster.

One Disaster Mandala for Contemplation and Mercy especially designed by barefoot New Age co-star of Dual Survivor Cody Lundin

43 Vegan Organic MREs (You guessed right. Lentils and Chickpeas with some spices.  Yummy!)

1000mg of pure MDMA helpfully scaled out in 110mg doses

Ultra lite-weight fold-able yoga mats

Sewing Kit

Patagonia, Lululemon and The Northface Labels to sew on any clothes you may scavenge

Compostable Cutlery – naughty naughty you survivors over there with your plastic sporks…

Three 7th Generation Toilet paper rolls with 100 Bill McKibben columns embroidered on each roll.  If you are on a Shamanic Cleanse – this TP will last a very long time indeed.

One water and fire proof deck each: Tarot, Goddess, UNO.

Freeze dried Kombucha Mother (Just add water!) Kombucha is known to fight the effects of radiation and other toxins so don’t worry about your water source.

Ph testing strips – because you want the best Ph balance you can at the end of the world.

And finally

Six pre-sharpened New Age healing crystals – if Gaia proves to be the vindictive bitch you’ve always kinda suspected she was you can slit your wrists and end it all.

All of this in a hemp backpack made by indigenous people no where near where you live now but guaranteed to be a very special and authentic location (China).

Best of all about the Aquarius Survival Pack is what you WON’T find. Western Medicine. Or your money back.  That’s right folks we guarantee absolutely:

No Antibiotics

No Painkillers

Not even Neosporin

All this for the special pre-Burn price of three payments of $199.99

Namaste.