Posts Tagged ‘New Age’

“As Goes Black Rock City, So Goes the World” Herodotus

Burning Man is in full fledged freak out mode.

Don’t buy the calm, slightly sarcastic repose of the Burning Man organizers.  They are shaking in their dusty black boots.

Burning Man is having a crisis not seen since Larry Harvey decided to hold the Burn of 1916 in Verdun in an ill conceived scheme to save money on fireworks.

Here is but a short list of press reports documenting that event in the desert slightly north of Reno slow decent into chaos:

Tickets are sold out and Burners are rioting


The Man has been exposed as being foreign born

Trance music is at an all time low

Obama has sold his Burning Man tickets yet again.


You can now find your friends easily on the playa.

Ghaddafi to appear in the Thunderdome

PETA has filed suite against Burning Man

New Age Survival Backpacks Selling Like Hotcakes 

Advertisements

With 2012 quickly approaching and destruction all around us isn’t it time you prepared for the worst Gaia and the Obama administration has to throw at you?

From the creators of Chia-ShivaPet © comes Aquarius Survival Pack ™-

‘Because you didn’t survive your past life.’ ™

Each Backpack comes equipped to help you and your two closest poli partners (choose wisely) commune with Nature for at least a week after any disaster.

One Disaster Mandala for Contemplation and Mercy especially designed by barefoot New Age co-star of Dual Survivor Cody Lundin

43 Vegan Organic MREs (You guessed right. Lentils and Chickpeas with some spices.  Yummy!)

1000mg of pure MDMA helpfully scaled out in 110mg doses

Ultra lite-weight fold-able yoga mats

Sewing Kit

Patagonia, Lululemon and The Northface Labels to sew on any clothes you may scavenge

Compostable Cutlery – naughty naughty you survivors over there with your plastic sporks…

Three 7th Generation Toilet paper rolls with 100 Bill McKibben columns embroidered on each roll.  If you are on a Shamanic Cleanse – this TP will last a very long time indeed.

One water and fire proof deck each: Tarot, Goddess, UNO.

Freeze dried Kombucha Mother (Just add water!) Kombucha is known to fight the effects of radiation and other toxins so don’t worry about your water source.

Ph testing strips – because you want the best Ph balance you can at the end of the world.

And finally

Six pre-sharpened New Age healing crystals – if Gaia proves to be the vindictive bitch you’ve always kinda suspected she was you can slit your wrists and end it all.

All of this in a hemp backpack made by indigenous people no where near where you live now but guaranteed to be a very special and authentic location (China).

Best of all about the Aquarius Survival Pack is what you WON’T find. Western Medicine. Or your money back.  That’s right folks we guarantee absolutely:

No Antibiotics

No Painkillers

Not even Neosporin

All this for the special pre-Burn price of three payments of $199.99

Namaste.