A sophomore at Somedumb University clicked the ‘Like’ Button at the bottom of an article entitled – “Our Post-Facebook Future”. Asked later the student denied being ironical despite sporting a mustache.
Top Ten 2010 Bumble Moments
Posted: February 3, 2011 in Bumblepuss, BurningMan, NectarKitchen, NectarVillageTags: Bumblepuss, BurningMan, NectarVillage, Nostalgia
As we head mercilessly toward BurningMan two OHHH double hockey sticks I recall washed over with nostalgia my top ten moments from the megalith that is NectarVilage and Bumblepuss –
Here are my top 10 moments – what are your top ten moments?
Top 10 Moment in 2010 from BurningMan
1. Running around Reno picking up last minute supplies
2. Loading the truck in Fernley
3. Getting onto the playa 5 days before the event started
4. The sandstorm during set up were we all stayed in the one structure we had set up and we all sat around doing K all day
5. SteamBath!
6. The Buffer!
7. The efficient and swift camp strike that left us in the Darkest of Green green on the MOOP Map
8. Grand Sierra Resort – seeing all you Bumblers clean and smiling for the first time in a week
9. Hijinks at the Fernley Storage Space – “Whoever set my car on Fire – I’m gonna get you next year!” Hilarious.
10. Decompression in San Francisco
Use of Horses during Zombie Apocalypse
Posted: February 3, 2011 in Silly, ZombieTags: camels, Egypt, End of the World, horses, Satire, Situational Analysis, Walking Dead, zombie
Two recent Reality Shows have demonstrated the limited use of horses during the Zombie Apocalypse.
The first was late last year 2010 during Episode Two when Sheriff Rick rode a horse into Atlanta, recently nicknamed by TimeOut as ‘Zomblanta’ – the second witnessed just today in Cairo.
Situational Analysis One – The Walking Dead:
Benefits: The Horse was very useful for speedy transport on the open, deserted roads that are now a hallmark of traffic patterns in Atlanta.
The horse are easy to maneuver through abandon car traffic jams. They are also easy relative to cars re-fuel with lots of readily available food sources. Unlike gassing up a car you aren’t limited to gas stations of unknown gas supplies where there is likely to be lots of debris, rotting corpses, and of primary concern – zombies.
Negatives:
Zombies love eating horses – horses get spooked around zombies and you risk being dismounted.
Situational Analysis Two: Mounted Mubarrak Zombie Charge
During the middle slog of Aquarius 2011 we’ve seen larger and more symmetric warfare between bands of humans and and army of zombies roughly translated from Arabic as the ‘Mubarraks’.
In a surprising demonstration of zombie intelligence, teamwork and toolmaking the undead Mubarraks used horses and camels to charge their living enemies.
Benefits:
When used in groups down large avenues the use of horses and camels are an impressive, scary and surreal show of force and intimidation.
Negatives:
If you are dismounted – get ready for the ass kicking of a life time.
Conclusion: Overall horses, camels, asses, mules, jackasses, domesticated zebras and other ridable four legged friends are a good resource to have on hand. Use them for transport, resupply, and tactical withdrawal. However horses are not recommended for use by humans or zombies during direct confrontation as horses get freaked out by zombies and once you are dismounted – well, it’s not even worth considering.
Who Should Get Special Parking Status?
Posted: February 1, 2011 in SillyTags: Cannabis, Food Truck, Nannies, Parking, San Francisco
The ever Progressive San Francisco is considering granting Nannies special Nanny State Parking Passes so they might more easily allow the owners of said children to get away to more important activities than minding dull children. Wine Bars in the Marina, Sailing, Combo Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting / Anasara Yoga Singles Nite Class all the way over in Berkeley…things like that.
Any right thinking person of a certain income will grant that such a Nanny Pass should be granted – hell should have been granted 100 years ago.
The permit should look something like this:
What other special groups should get special parking passes for parking?
Three come to mind immediatley:
a) Undercover Police Officers so they aren’t late to set up the criminals:
b) Medical Cannabis Customers (who will only really be parked in front of the Vapor Room for 10 minutes)
c) Food Trucks because eating Korean Tacos is more important that parking.
“Snodgrass had brought you must be lost.
Lord bless your kindness to speak. Wery pleasant voice of these. Bring him about on board. Felt himself for years ago that inquired Sam at home again. Pursued the inscription on either in five.”
It’s sad how bad Spam grammar and punctuation has gotten.
Greenpeace: Pimp My Boat
Posted: January 10, 2011 in SillyTags: Bush Administration, Greenpeace, Rainbow Warrior, Rap Videos, Satire, Sea Shepard, Whale Wars
I'm on a Boat
This is the new $32 Million Dollar Rainbow Warrior III about to be set loose on the seas. It will cost several million dollars a year to run.
Am I the only one who would like to see the expense of this oceanic vehicle payed for by I’m on a Boat!leasing it out to rappers and rock stars to shoot ridiculous, misogynistic music videos on?
To me this sounds a lot better than sending scary fundraisers out to old ladies telling them whales will die unless they send $20.
Rap and Rock videos of a sexy, fantastical nature are also much more in parallel with the unstated raison d‘être of this vessel:
Testosterone induced chest puffing.
Rainbow Warrior III’s secret agenda – be the metrosexual counterpart to those angry Goths from Whale Wars.
Unlike the Sea Shepard and like the Bush administration you won’t find an inch of black on the RW III – in the crew or the engine. You’ll find the RW III sitting in a far flung marina bar decked out in Izod wooing some 21 year old Peace Corp babe with it’s extensive knowledge of the hottest new World Music out of Bulgaria and sly remarks about how Paul Watson has really let him self go in the past few years.
I’ll see you aboard baby – and make mine a free range organic Mai Tai.
“Replied mary and leading to observe what. Then took her dress of any business. Weller shook his seat near to understand”
“Rejoined sam at ten thousand pound. Small way into another and looking over. She ought to wait for jack
Whether it might have since that. Before its being at home to another. Cried meg in each day for years
Follow him through it turned to form”
I couldn’t of said it any better myself…
Drop7 – The reason I haven’t posted in a while
Posted: January 9, 2011 in Misc.Tags: Airports, Android, Drop7, video game, Videogame
Android Videogame coma:
Comes with the EYE Phone as well as Free in the App Store
I’d like to wish all my readers a Happy New year Two O Double Hockey Sticks!
Radovan Karadzic Joins NectarVillage; goes on Trial
Posted: December 30, 2010 in Bumblepuss, BurningMan, NectarVillage, SillyTags: Burning Man, Death Guild, Karadzic, Naomi Klein, Serbia, War Criminal
The Serbian New Age War Criminal joined NectarVillage today; it will be his first and perhaps last trip to arts festival BurningMan. Mr. Karadzic plans to camp with HeeBeeGeeBee Healers where he’ll be practicing his three strongest healing modalities – energy healer, biofeedback and murdering any Bosnian Burners that may amble into the HeeBee chill space.
Karadzic currently resides in a cell in The Hague but after long delays and set backs the International Criminal Court has decided BurningMan is the best medium to put him on trial.
At night Radovan who has chosen the Burner name ‘Radost’ meaning ‘happiness’ or ‘joy’ in Slavic will go on trial at the Death Guild. Each night starting at 3am-ish Death Guild will have a special ‘Two Enter One Leaves, no we really mean it this time’ match. Radost will get a chance to face of against other international war criminals including Liberia’s Charles ‘Dusty Chuck’ Taylor, Yale’s George “Kennebunk’ Bush and Canada’s Naomi ‘Commie Mommie’ Klein.
NectarVillage head honcho Soup was asked how he thought Karadzic would do in NectarVillage and at Death Guild, “He’ll fit in fine at Nectar, we’ve had war criminals camp with us before and we got along with them like a storm. How Karadzic fares at DeathGuild is anyone’s guess but one his grasp of energy work and great HeeBee meals can only help.”
When Radovan was asked what he thought his toughest challenge would be while at the Black Rock event he stated, “I’m most worried about shaving, I hear it’s a real bitch out there.”
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