Posts Tagged ‘NFL’

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Hone Creek, Costa Rica (CN) – The veracity of Consumptionblog’s Investigative Reports are often questioned.  None more so than a story we ran in November of 2011 citing anonymous sources that Burning Man was going to adopt an NFL style draft system to distribute tickets.  Consider the draft implemented √

Burning Man Adopts NFL Draft for 2012 Ticket Distribution

Posted: November 11, 2011

The 17 members of Burning Man Corp.’s Board of Directors will pick Burner draftees in order of preference until all of the available tickets are distributed.

‘The new NFL Draft ticket distribution modality makes the whole process simpler and based on meritocracy as judged by me and 16 other awesome Burners.” said Board of Director and popular NPR Fresh Air’ hostess Terry Gross.

While old news to us Sy Hersh devotees of deep investigative journalism, this was revealed as FACT late yesterday evening by the good folks in charge of the Event North of Reno.

Ticket Update: Rebuilding Black Rock City 2012

Where Will He Be Drafted?

1. Burning Man organizers and staff will issue tickets to major theme camps and art projects using a process outlined below…

Because we know this number cannot possibly satisfy the entirety of that demand, we will use practical criteria to determine eligibility. These groups will be reviewed for:

  1. History – A camp, project or participatory work must be in our database from past years. (We have ways to track name changes for groups over time.)
  2. Demonstrated Community Benefit – A project has been interactive in a way that has been experienced as meaningful, provides support for Black Rock City’s infrastructure, or provides services for our community. Basically, how the project helps make the community and create its magic.
  3. LNT – A group has demonstrated adherence to and good practices around Leave No Trace and are committed to our community perpetuating the message of LNT.
  4. 10 Principles – A group or project fully embraces the 10 Principles in their entirety.

Check back here regularly @ Consumptionblog for more reality based journalism surrounding Burning Man 2012.

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Gerlach, NV (CN) As we exit 2011 and crash into 2012 Consumptionblog looks back at the year in BurningMan.  As always ‘The Event North of Reno’ was chock full of more controversy than a soon to be ex-couple arguing about what it means to ‘just be poly on the playa’ in the predawn post coital light.

From Obama to Riots, the End of the World to the NFL, Daftpunk to Hippies, Consumptionblog presents to you the Top Six Burning Man Stories of 2011:

1. The Kenyan who Came from Hope and but Returned to Black Rock City topped the list this year:
Obama To Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt
2. If it bleeds it leads still rings true in the digital clouds of blogland:
Ticketless Burners Scuffle with Police at Burning Man Office
3. As usual the French come in 3rd:
Daft Punk Cancels Burning Man Appearance
4. The Cultural War Continue to Rage:
Hippies vs Ravers Battle for Supremacy on the Playa
5. Despite the NFL and Burning Man having less than zero in common, they’ve decided to work together:
Burning Man Implements NFL Draft to Sell Tickets
6. The End of the World will be a bigger story in 2012:
New Age Survival Backpack – While Supplies and the Planet Lasts
-And Finally Bonus Burner News Now-
The Question was Finally Asked:
Is Burning Man Foreign Born?

Tenderloin District, San Francisco (CN) – Many Burners would be hard pressed to name any similarities between the National Football League (NFL) and Burning Man.  However that’s all about to change.  In an effort to alleviate last years chaos that engulfed San Francsico in riots when Burning Man sold out of tickets without warning the governing Board of Directors have taken a page from the NFL playbook.

Starting in 2012 all 50,000 Burners to be granted tickets to Nevada’s 5th largest stadium north of Reno will have to make themselves eligible for an NFL style draft.

“With its well known connections to the Mob, Sparkle Pony Fans, and heavy use of performance enhancing drugs by the participants, known as ‘players’ the NFL was a natural model for Burning Man to emulate,” said event founder Larry Harvey at a press conference announcing the move.

Sparkle Hogs at Skins Burn of 2010

The 17 members of Burning Man Corp.’s Board of Directors will pick Burner draftees in order of preference until all of the available tickets are distributed.

‘The new NFL Draft ticket distribution modality makes the whole process simpler and based on meritocracy as judged by me and 16 other awesome Burners.” said Board of Director and popular NPR Fresh Air’ hostess Terry Gross.

“Like the NFL we’ve taken steps to make sure the draft happens quickly, without too much second guessing and speculation and live on ESPN.”

Burning Man Draft 2012 Rules:

1. All those interested in entering the Burning Man draft fill out a simple ‘baseball card’ style application process with valid credit card number by January 5th.

2. After being printed the cards are randomly distributed by a professional Vegas Poker Dealer to the 17 Board of Directors who shall be seated at a large round table.  After a designated time of no more than one hour the Directors will each pick a #1 Burner Draft Pick (BDP) from their respective piles.

3. The #1 Burner Draft Picks of each Burning Man Corp. Director will be awarded the right of ”’primae noctis” with any virgin Burners they choose during the event.

4. After the #1 Burner Draft Picks are paraded in the front of the media, the Board of Directors will be locked in a conference room at the Grand Sierra Resort for no less than one month.   The remaining 49,883 Burners will be drafted based on a combination of the rules of proportional representation used to elect members of the Israeli Knesset and the card-based role playing game Magic: The Gathering.

It's as Simple as it is Exciting

5. Exceptions to the draft are French Electronic Duo Daft Punk, Chicken Jon, anyone with the word ‘dusty’ in their playa name and Barack and Michele Obama. These beloved Burners automatically get gifted tickets.

6. Those who qualify for discount or scholarship tickets after being drafted will be required to de-moop DISTRKT and the other large Sound Camps for one week after the event ends.

7. Finally, depending on what your draft number is, how many Burns you can prove you’ve been to as well as who on the Board drafts you will determine where you are allowed to camp and what day you can arrive at the event North of Reno.  This is based on a mathematical formula some DPW folks came up during a weekend bender at Bruno’s Country Club.

Example: Mary Jane Playa Crotch is a five time Burner and is drafted #23,614 by Chip Conley 14 days  and three hours into the draft.  This determines that Mary Jane will be camping with Comfort and Joy and will be allowed to arrive no earlier than Wednesday of the event.  Her credit card is then charged, she is notified via e-mail and Board Members move on to Draft Pick #23,615.

“No one said being on the Board of Directors is all Bacon and Jiffy Lube,” said Made Marian, long time Burner and Burning Man’s Organized Crime Liaison.  “But we believe the process will be thorough, Byzantine, and mind numbingly comprehensive.”

Speculation has already begun on who will be the #1 Draft Pick. Early betting in Vegas currently has five time Burner, Yoga Instructor and tribal hipster known only as ‘Ashley’ as the 3 to 5 favorite.

I  ♥ the NFL Draft

“I can tell you who won’t be the #1 Pick,” said ESPN Burning Man Analyst Little Spoon.  “Tim Couch and JaMarcus Russell that’s who.  While they have great playa names, if you can’t hack it in the NFL you certainly can’t hack it at one of the harshest environments on earth.”

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Please let others know about this new Burning Man ticket scheme by ‘Like’ing this on Facebook, Retweeting, Stumbling or clicking other social media buttons bel0w.    With your help we can avoid the riots and chaos of 2011.  Thank you.