Archive for the ‘Products’ Category

This week or so Consumptionblog shall endeavor to lose five things.    All these things to be lost will be digital in nature. Can you lose digital ephemera and will anyone really notice?

After Ello we say goodbye to Boing Boing.

Boing Boing.  I first consumed you in a magazine shop in Hillcrest on University between 5th and 6th along with a copy of Future Sex.  Maybe 1993 or 1994.  I was in high school.  Over the years you explained a lot of things to me.  You helped me discover weirdness and counterculture about tech and internet stuff.

I think this was the issue.

I think this was the issue.

But now we’ve drifted away.  Frankie DuBoyz recently called Grantland the “Geographical Center of the American Middlebrow”.  I guess as an insult.  Most certainly as an insult.  But that is what Grantland is explicitly aiming for and they execute it as well or better than anyone else.  You, Boing Boing – have you found your way to sloppy buzzfeed middlebrow on purpose?  Because that is where you’ve ended up.  One day’s content turns up the usual:

Scratching consumer itches.



Plausible deniability advertisements. 

It's NOT an Ad!

It’s NOT an Ad!

Bland, orthodox left over left politics.

What Happens Next?

What Happens Next?

RIYL is a pretty good podcast.

I don’t like your demographic.  Your tee girl says it all.

Doesn't she just scream 'Boing Boing'?

Doesn’t she just scream ‘Boing Boing’?

Boing Boing.  Sadly after over 20 years I officially lose you.


Gerlach, NV – (CN)

In line with one of the 10 Principles, Gifting, an authorized product from Burning Man has been given away for free this week.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Burn



Written under the non de guerre ‘Sean Kemp’, the product  was a collaboration between the now obliterated “Burning Man Arts Foundation” and the “Vogon Foundation of Soviet Canuckistan”.

“I started creating this product back in 2004,” sighed “Sean”,  I finished the first product version in 2004 actually.  Since then I’ve been going back and forth with the Burning Man Sexy Censorship Board (BMSCB) and the Vogon Committee for Publishing until this year.  I’m never creating another product again.”

After initially selling for the Burning Man price of $9.99 its now being given away here, on Consumptionblog for free:


 “Don’t Panic”


The End


The  Lung Cleaner is the first product of its kind. A revolutionary use for the inhaler. Using a mixture of  Eucalyptus, Salt and Water, The Lung Cleaner provides a “Steam Room in Your Pocket”.  Using the powers of Eucalyptus and qualities of Sea Water, the Lung Cleaner is the new innovation deep breathing has been waiting for.

6:30 and Something, maybe D, sorta near Nectar Village, NV (CN)  – I found this headlamp at the Burn.  Is it yours? Sorry I took so long.

Yours? Really?

Yours? Really?

Decompression was really tough and if I’m honest, I kinda like using it.

I think it’s a BlackDiamond.  It was Tuesday after the Burn, it was in a bag on an abandoned bike on 6:30 and something, maybe D, sorta near Nectar Village.  It was extremely dusty.  From the location I found this headlamp I could see a Budget rental truck, a couple tents and the flags from the top of Center Camp.


Do you use Duracell? Then this might be yours.

Perhaps the biggest identifying element on it is the Duracell batteries.  They still power the headlamp.

From the Playa to the Galaxy

From the Playa to the Galaxy

If you believe this to be your headlamp, please submit a story how you lost it in the comments section below and then mail a blood, hair and stool sample plus $125 cash for testing to the Hotel Galaxy in Changuinola, Panama, Bocas Del Toro, Avenida 17 de Abril c/o ‘Gringo’s Lost Headlamp’ where it currently provides light during occasional power outages.   The headlamps rightful owner, once identified, will arrange to meet me at Burning Man 2013, Cargo Cult in Nevada, somewhere around 6:30 and something, sorta near Nectar Village.

Thank you.

What Shampoo does Michael Shannon use when Apocalyptic Doom is imminent?

Take Shelter with Alba Botanica's Hawaiian Shampoo Product Line

That’s right folks, Alba Botanica Hawaiian Shampoo featuring Honeydew Gloss Boss.

For glossy sheen, take a permanent vacation from the harsh, hole digging horror show of Paul Krugman’s white reactionary Ohio. Instead, discover this shine-inducing shampoo, a residue-lifting cleansing experience. Honeydew extract, awapuhi and pineapple nourish and revive hair for vibrant shine. Hydrolyzed protein binds the hair cuticle creating a smooth, reflective, glossy shine. Dull, lifeless hair is gently cleansed and revitalized. Aloha beautiful.

100% Vegetarian. No: Animal Testing, Charles Murray, Artificial Colors, Parabens, Phthalates, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate or Sodium Methyl Sulfate

At over $10 for a 12 oz. bottle budget conscious Jessica Chastain should be more concerned with shampoo than the cost of a new tornado shelter.

Echo Park, CA (CN) – Los Angeles based Zen conglomerate Buddhist Geeks, Inc. held a press conference Thursday at the Very Hazy Zen Mediation Center in Los Angeles announcing a new marketing partnership with Makers Mark whiskey.  Makers stated they hope to make inroads into a growing market and Buddhist Geeks hope Makers can be a useful tool in meditation. Free samples of Makers were given out at the event before a 20 minute mediation and media sutra.

“Sometimes its hard, especially for beginners, to clear your head out and reach that blissed out state unique to meditation,” said Buddhist Geeks Founder and CEO Vinny Horn.  “I know from personal experience Makers helps ease you towards that spot.”

All is Bliss, All is Bliss

Buddhist Geeks recently concluded its first successful trade show “BGC 1.0” in July and have been on the radar of industry watchers for some time.  “They [BG] have clearly established themselves as the lead brand of the lucrative 18-35 yo male Buddhists demographic,” said Susan Shambala of Fast Company.  “Makers was smart to make this move so fast.  I know Jagermeister was edging for a deal as well.”

A launch party will be held in November on Naropa University’s ‘Frat Row’.  Greek Fraternity Zeta Epsilon Nau will host the Girls of Makers Mark featuring Buddhist legend Ken McLeod.  Ken will be leading a Makers themed drinking game called “Stalking Death” where students take a shot every time Ken speaks in a slow, calming voice.

Makers Mark SpokesRoshi Roofi RarRaovitch said the company is working on a specially formulated Makers Kombucha Tea called ‘Mothers Mark’.  “The early trials have gone well and we hope to have it next to zafus in time for Christmas.”

Vinny Horn concluded the event opening a bottle of Makers and stating, “Buddhist Geeks.  Seriously Buddhist, Seriously Tipsy.”