Posts Tagged ‘Satire’

Ahoy there Burners!

Join me in song for this year’s Burn with a classic Sea Shanty written by Larry the Sailor Man after his poorly built ship wrecked on Baker Beach in 1986.

Blow the Man Down

Verse

“As I was a-walking down Paradise Street,

A pretty young sparkle pony I chanced for to meet.

She had whisky on her breath and Alo Yoga on her waist,

And I took in my hands a few minutes to waste.

Chorus:

Blow the man down, Burners!, blow the man down!

To me way hay, blow the man down!

Blow the man down, Burners!, blow the man down!

Set fire to thee and blow the man down!

Verse

She said, “I can dance, I can sing, I can play,

And if you will playa-marry me, I’ll hula-hoop all damn day.”

But I said, “My little pony, I must exodus, I can’t stay,

For I’m bound for the Reno GSR and I’m sailing away.”

Chorus:

“Blow the man down, Burners! blow the man down!

To me way hay, blow the man down!

Blow the man down, Burners!, blow the man down!

Set fire to thee and blow the man down!”

I confess I’ve sung that countless times on the playa and it never gets old.

As you’ll recall in 2023 the Theme of the Burn was ‘Noah’s Ark’.  Attendees were expecting the amazing Canuck Trojan Horse of 2011 or thought it was a metaphor about all coming together in community to save the future of humanity through workshops, drugs and zipties.   

No one took it literally. 

Instead, what the Bman organization provided as stated on the back of your ticket (if only you’d just read it) was a deluge of water not out of place in the Old Testament or Portland. 

The logistical and engineering feat of collecting, storing and releasing trillions of decalitres of water in underground caches on the Ranch will be studied for decades.  

The media flipped the fuck out.  

Burners took it all in stride.

Today as I return home to the playa what do I find? 

The Theme should tell you all you need to know?

This year the playa is as tranquil and peaceful as I’ve seen it in years.  After the deluge the Sea has finally returned to the playa after thousands of years of rampant procrastination. 

Imagine waking up in your hexayurt to the sound of birdsong, the croak of frogs and the gentle lap of waves against your art-boat/barge/yacht.  You check the gill nets you set the night before to see if you’ve caught any pike or perch to gift for: 

Camp Pelican Lake’s Friday Nights Fuzzy Navel Fish Fry.  (8:23 & T)

After making a cup of coffee you sit with a campmate and dip your feet in the water.  It’s warm and at an average depth of only 18 metres, not too deep.  The Tantric Scuba workshop at Camp The Bends was a highlight of yesterday afternoon.  You and your friend peruse Rockstar Yellow Submarine to see who is playing Thursday night at White Ocean Cruises and…

‘Wow, it’s a Banger, lets get pilled up for this!’

  • Billy Ocean b2b Hall & Boats
  • John Aquaviva
  • Scum Frog
  • The Lonely Island
  • Paavo from Below and Beyond
  • Sunrise set from Primus

A few quick addendums to the Survival Guide.  DO bring a personal flotation device.  DO NOT BRING YOUR BIKE unless it’s a paddle bike. 

MOOP and LNT will be difficult this year – a sump pump and pool nets on long polls are a must for your floating camp and/or village or endure the wrath of the Eco-Guardian Navy.

Narcotics, hallucinogens, various GLP-1s and even nicotine have always been popular at Burning Man but consider a psychedelic refresh in line with the theme.  This year I recommend your night time fun stack look something like this:

Enjoy yourselves Burners, it’s a whole new playa out there, exciting and new.  

Maybe be safe if you want, but no pressure and stuff.

Someone gifted Hurricane Hilary a ticket to Burning Man 2023

Ahoy Burners!

Sometimes the Playa Conditions Report writes itself – I had  a hurricane in mind when imagining the conditions that will greet Burners on the playa this year.  Does this make me Playa Nostradamus?  Probably.  But as you’ll see, I wasn’t the only one who predicted a hurricane in the forecast for TTITD 2023.  

The aftermath of the hurricane will be one huge salt lake, giving Burning Man a nautical aspect for the first time in many decades.  Are you prepared?

My advice: Leave your bikes at home 

Have you ever rode a bike through a desert in a hurricane?  Me neither.  Because you can’t.  The wind and rain will blow you and your useless bike over into a thick morass of playa mud from which you may never escape like a volcanic explosion at Pompeii.

pompeii Burner.png
The Burn of 79 CE…it was a good Burn!

In celebration of the newly arrived oceanic nature of the Burn I will be uploading a nautical based acid house mix shortly for Acid Monday – stay tuned for the link.

Nautical facts about Burning Man you probably didn’t know:

Old Grimey, the amazing Art Car for NectarVillage was Dreamed up, Designed and Built by the totally awesome Chris Crazy Fart Box. In its original form before it came to the playa it was a small boat Chris salvaged from the SF Harbor and brought to his bonded warehouse near the docks.  That’s why the driver of Grimey always has to wear a Captain’s hat at all times. The hardest part of building Grimey was putting wheels on it and a car engine.  But it is still seaworthy and in past Burns, right at dawn, it demonstrated its magical ability to float above the playa.  If things get really out of hand with the Burner Hurricane of 2023, Old Grimey will be a great art boat to be aboard. 

Something or rather someone at camp should also give you hope:  Vice-Admiral Soup.  Soup attended the Naval Academy in Annapolis and is a master sailor who eats hurricanes for breakfast.  He practically lives on the water in the salty port town of Sausalito.  Have you been to the grotto in his house?  It’s amazing.  He sails everyday to SF for his job in the HMS Salty Soup.  It’s little wonder he is in charge of navigating the event this year for the BMORG Corp.

It’s also noteworthy that the Temple this year is based on the myth of Noah’s Ark and if you look on a map of the playa it has no fixed address this year.

Like any good Burner, I have no idea what the theme of this years Burn is and with the exception of 2007 can’t remember any theme but when I saw a mock up of the Man this year it certainly raised an eyebrow or three with me:

Burning Man.png

The Man 2023 [pictured above] currently being built on the playa by Fire Boy and a dedicated crew of metalsmiths and undersea welders.

Finally I think most veteran Burners will agree with me on the following: Of my top 10 experiences ever at the Burn, I was wet for seven of them.  So enjoy the hurricane Burners and don’t forget your flippers.

Bumble!

Marc Bumble

Bumblers,

Please read the following history of Bumblepuss – we are coming up on two decades of Bumblepuss and it’s important that those of you who have only been camping with Bumble since 2015 (or even later!) know and appreciate our storied history.

A quick history of the origins of Bumblepuss and couches…and I swear this is actually, mainly true according to my Burner diary/journal I keep from each Burn.

Close your eyes dear Bumble and remember back to the simpler times of 2007.  Life was good.  The iphone was not yet upon us.  ‘Umbrella’ by Rihanna was making us feel gratitude for just being alive.  There were a mere 47,097 Burners.  The French were on strike.  I drank beer and had a myspace account. 

The Burn of 2007 was a tumultuous affair called ‘Green Man’ because it made most people sick. The Man was Burned twice, first on Monday by ‘the last true Burner’, Paul Addis, who would go on to perform his last piece of art on San Francisco’s troubled public transport system. 

Last True Burner

Soup and myself might have had something called an Art Car crash caused by a technical malfunction that sent someone to the hospital in Reno.  As far as we know he lived but he could be dead now, it was a long time ago.  The art car in question, Sage-N-ator (2007) nee Satreheddron (2003, 2005) was designed and built originally by a pyromaniac engineer named Docktor Random who designed fire suppression sprinkler systems for a living (I swear to God this is true).  At a small decompression party in San Diego he once tried to set a beach on fire using old christmas trees and homemade explosives.  The beach won but by the narrowest of margins.  He was probably not a great engineer to rig an RV to be driven from the roofdeck.  Safety third blah blah blah…

Our humble narrator found himself washing dishes during the 2007 Temple Burn in the notorious indentured labor camp known ironically as HBGB “Healers” (These people should be avoided).  Soup was completely fried as well by the HBGB experience. Something needed to change or that was going to be the last Burn.  On a 15 hour ride to the much missed official decompression party at the Grand Sierra Soup and I decided to do something different.  We thought – ‘hey lets have less work and stress for ourselves by creating a Village and the Camp we’ll create and live in within the Village will do practically nothing but seem really important and cool.’  2008 rolls around and after a shabbat service in Berkeley where our idea was blessed by a rabbi and given the name ‘Bumblepuss’ we started on our path to create the Camp and Village you know and love.

True to our original sleep-deprived vision on HWY 447 in 2007 all these many years later Bumblers still do very little besides avoid the hot midday sun, slap goats, eat food, tell jokes and consume drugs.  This is a good thing.

The blessed free couches of 2008

One of the biggest pre-playa tasks we had to do for a new Camp and Village was to plan and obtain all the infrastructure needed.  Much of the original infrastructure from the “condos” to the kitchen and lounge pole structure and even much of the kitchen equipment, chairs and storage was purchased, donated or stolen in 2008.  The fact that it still exists and provides you Bumblers with shade and bacon to this very day is a dusty miracle. 

Bumble dues that first year of 2008 were only $50 per person (inflation eh?!)  and our diet consisted mainly of bacon, hummus and Costco burgers.  Thankfully the angry Burner Gods were looking down upon us and shook their fists and blessed us with the Great Financial Crisis for without the GFC Nectarvillage would not have been possible.  

We obtained a temporary storage unit in Oakland and slowly built up our inventory of infrastructure over the summer leading up to the Burn.  But one of the biggest challenges was how do you get a bunch of couches for lazy Bumblers that are comfy and of a high quality but on a very very limited budget?  

During the GFC lots of bad people were being punished by losing their homes. 

They were driven into exodus in a hurry, often leaving their furniture outside their undeserved, overleveraged and now empty homes.  Noticies were put on craigslist.  For several weekends Soup and I borrowed the huge-ass truck of a Burner named Edge and we scrambled around to all the fashionable communities in the Bay Area where furniture was being recklessly abandoned.  Looking back on my list we visited Fruitvale, Hayward, Fremont, South San Francisco, north San Jose, Richmond (kitchen chairs) and even East Palo Alto.  We had hundreds of comfy, high quality almost new, ‘lets refi our house for the 7th time and buy all new ticky tacky furniture, what could go wrong’ couches from the bad people to pick from and we chose the best for you and for the thousands of Bumblers and visitors who came before you.  We also picked up our first two refrigerators for the camp in this manner, one of which was abandoned in 2012 on the side of a highway in Fallon, NV.   

Yes, that couch is headed to Burning Man

Many things have been done on those couches including but not limited to sleeping, just lying about, not doing much of anything and vaping/hippie crack stuff and they have served with distinction.  If those OG couches are being replaced they should be Burned at a ceremony on open playa, perhaps Wednesday at 2pm slightly past and to the left of the Man. No need to tell ARTery, just let folks who may be concerned know that Soup grumbled something about it was ‘probably ok’ when he was half asleep, sneezing in a robe and cowboy hat.

Lounge on the couches well Bumblers, you deserve it.

Almost a Bumbler

As a quick aside…in recognition of the contribution of the Great Financial Crisis to the successful creation of Bumblepuss and NectarVillage we invited long time Burner and hedge fund manager Michael Burry to camp with us in 2009.  He refused.   But according to my daily Burner journal ‘Fire Mike’ did come by and sat with us on the couches and we ate some potato chips, he played drums and Adam introduced us to DMT vaping and we laughed a bit and wigged out a bit and then he went on his way and we continued to lounge there until nightfall came.  We ate a little bit of hummus and Costco hamburgers, did some drugs, dressed up pretty, put on some lights so as not to be darkwads and headed out on our bikes singing ‘BUMBLE!’ every so often but we still lost each other after 20 minutes anyways.

Bumble!,

Marc Bumble

Bumblers,


Bumble!  

Soon an announcement will be made in regards to tickets for this years’ 2022 thing in the desert, AKA Burning Man.  You should be excited.


Bumblepuss and Nectarvillage intend to participate to our fullest and to make it our best year since the Burn of 2003, which will never be topped.


Some of you may have heard of Covid-19.  Still fewer Bumbleers have concerns about Covid-19 and related misanthropic pandemic-ery.  I am here to address those Bumblers with such knowledge and related concerns.  


Rest assured Bumblers.  Bumble Elders have met and we have a plan.


In order that there be not only equality but equity at Bumblepuss and NectarVillage it has been decided that all Bumblers and future Bumblers planning to camp with us in 2022 need to show proof of being infected with Covid-19 at some time within the last five years.


Priority will be given to certain Covid-19 variants.  Those who received the OG ChinaFlu variant in 2019 through November 2020 will be admitted automatically.  Those who were gifted the Delta Tau Delta variant will have points deducted from their application but are likely to get in.  Bumblers blessed with the Alpha and Omega variants may be asked to camp elsewhere.  Those special Bumblers who are granted the Omnikrom virus or any of the variants from January 19th, 2022 forward with the express purpose of camping with Bumblepuss will be made Camp Leads as reward for your special dedication and initiative to all things Bumble.  


If you have any questions, just realize all decisions by Bumble Elders are final.


I can’t wait to Bumble with you this summer!

Bumble!

Bumble Marc

Little Nixon, NV – The newly minted not-for-profit Burning Man Organization of America in association with Black Rock Solar, Inc. just issued the following statement about fire poi at this years’ Burning Man Festival:

 

Starting at Burning Man 2014, ‘Commiserate’ we hereby declare all fire poi to be powered by solar or other approved alternative energy sources.   This may affect the time the Man is Burned (probably noon-ish this year).  The Department of Fire, Poi Division will be set up near the DMV this year where all poi instruments will be checked and licensed before being approved for use.  There will be 2 classes of Poi license, one for daytime use only and the other, for both day and night time use.  The number of licenses issued will be limited to 178.  All those found in violation of these rules will be forced to attend Ranger Training.

 

More information will be produced soon but the sun is going down and we need to conserve power on our solar free range organic laptops.

 

                                Soon to be rare Night Time Fire Poi at Burning Man?

Omaha, NE – (CN) Greenpeace and the Cattleman’s Beef Board today announced the formation of  ‘MeatPeace’ as a vehicle to stop meat grown in laboratories from reaching American plates.

The fear of God was placed in both organizations by a new study from scientists at Oxford and Amsterdam University that found viable lab grown meat ‘would reduce greenhouse gases by up to 96% in comparison to raising animals. The process would require between 7% and 45% less energy than the same volume of conventionally produced meat such as pork, beef, or lamb, and could be engineered to use only 1% of the land and 4% of the water associated with conventional meat.’

Cattleman President Jim McGrit  at a joint press conference with Greenpeace announcing the coalition denounced lab meat in stark terms, “Frankenmeats have no place as part of the American diet.  America without cattle is no America at all.  We believe Meatpeace is an innovative way to saving America and cattle.  You’re welcome.”

Citing concerns that lab meat wasn’t natural, Greenpeace spokesperson Labia McVey invoked the spiritual, “We should only eat what has been bequeathed upon us from mother Gaia.  I mean the Bible pretty clearly states in John 1:3 – Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. And by Him they don’t mean some fucking scientist with a petri dish.”

At the press conference representatives of the Cattleman’s Beef Board and Greenpeace exchanged a cowboy hat and bottle of Dr. Bronners as a symbolic gesture before cutting on the ribbon on Meatpeace’s first project; a slaughterhouse.

The rainbow colored solar powered zero omission abattoir inaugurated as ‘Slice of Life’ was designed by Austrian torture artist Josef Fritzl was co-funded by both groups.

Greenpeace Approved Beef Flows from 'Slice of Life'

After the press conference Greenpeace Semi-Lead Consensus Co-Chair and new Meatpeace Co-Roaster  Hawkeye Yellowbelly joined the Beefmen for a dinner emanating meat.

Yum! It's what you need to Consume for Dinner.

With bits of throbbing gristle flying from his mouth after devouring a 1/4 pound Kobe beef burger topped with bacon, bleu cheese, organic arugula, and red onions on a freshly baked ptotato roll Hawkeye screamed “This fucking hamburger is fucking amazing – I can’t fucking believe I ate fucking lentils for 30 fucking year – what the fuck was I fucking thinking…fuck!”
After the press conference Greenpeace activists faced off with the PETA Youth Crew in the parking lot.  “I’d rather kill than eat frankenmeat” was overheard before shots rang out in the worst gang violence Nebraska had experienced since the signing of the Magna Carta.  Freegans swarmed the scene later to consume any free fixin’s left from the melee.

Dublin (CB) – Political Pundits across Ireland are saying famous British comedian and actor Stephen Fry may just have tipped the scales of the October Irish Presidential elections.  Yesterday on Twitter Fry endorsed Senator David Norris causing online bookmaker Paddy Power to put Norris as the 3 to 5 odds on frontrunner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You know what the endorsement of a prominent Cambridge educated gay Englishman does for your chances in Ireland,” Irish political blogger Paddy McCann wrote moments after Fry’s Tweet.  “Can you say ‘Winner’?”

David Norris is a prominent Irish civil rights campaigner and has been elected to the Irish Senate or Seanad Éireann from the Dublin University constituency since 1987.

A local brickie from the Tallaght neighborhood of South Dublin was asked what he thought of Fry’s endorso-tweet.  “I hate the fucking English, I voted Sinn Féin in the last election.  But Fry?  He’s a national treasure, Norris has got me vote now for sure.”

The Irish Presidential race is shaping up to be a crowded one with a diverse range of candidates from Boutros Boutros Ghali to Barry Glendenning vying for the largely ceremonial role.

The successful endorsement of Irish politicians by gay Englishmen is not without precedent.  In 1989 Erasure’s lead singer Andy Bell’s endorsement of Charles Haughey’s is generally credited with Fianna Fáil’s 77 seat victory in the Taoiseach.

Washington, DC – A spokesperson for President Obama announced today that Dennis Hopper had joined the Whitehouse Press Corp.   Although the noted actor and photojournalist had covered President Obama in his Chicago community organizing days the announcement came as a surprise as Hopper had been considered retired from this mortal coil for over a year.

When reached for comment Hooper said Obama approached him personally in the hallway and requested he take the job.

“I didn’t think he even noticed me,” exclaimed Hopper with a manic look and smell of death.   “And suddenly he grabbed me, and he threw me in a corner, and he said, “Do you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you”… I mean I’m… no, I can’t… I’m a little man, I’m a little man, he’s… he’s a great man! ”

Appearing on a weekend political discussion show no one watches, George Will asked him what the first question he would put the president.  After snapping a couple close ups of a clearly shaken Will he responded, “Hey, man, you don’t question the Community Organizer. You listen to him. The man’s enlarged my mind. He’s a poet warrior in the classic sense.”

Many on the right including media mogul, dispassionate critic of Barack Obama and five time Rollerblade champion Andrew Breitbart attacked the appointment.  “I mean sure he’s more informed though certainly less handsome than Jake ‘The Tapeworm’ Tapper but what next, letting Al Jazeera in the White House?

Hopper’s ghostly apparition appeared next to Breitbart while he was speaking to the press about Hopper’s appointment.

“Why? Why would a nice guy like you want to dispassionately criticize  a Community Organizing genius? Feeling pretty good, huh? Why?

“Wait, what are you doing here?” stammered Breitbart.

“Do you know that the man really likes you? He likes you. He really likes you. But he’s got something in mind for you. Aren’t you curious about that? I’m curious. I’m very curious. Are you curious? There’s something happening out here, man.”

“Where, suburban Los Angeles?”

“You know something, man? I know something you that you don’t know. That’s right, Jack. The man is clear in his mind, but his soul is mad. Oh, yeah. He’s dying, I think. He hates all this. He hates it! But the man’s a…He reads poetry out loud, all right. And a voice…he likes you because you’re still alive. He’s got plans for you.”

“What’s the Mau Mau got in store for me,” Breitbart quivered with all the courage he could muster.  “And the name is Andrew or Andy like Andy Bell if you prefer.”

“No, I’m not gonna help you,” Hopper intoned.  “You’re gonna help him, man. You’re gonna help him. I mean, what are they gonna say when he’s gone? ‘Cause he dies when it dies, when it dies, he dies! What are they gonna say about him? He was a kind man? He was a wise man? He had plans? He had wisdom? Bullshit, man! And am I gonna be the one that’s gonna set them straight? Look at me! Look at me! Wrong! You!”

At a surreal press conference Whitehouse Spokesperson Jay Carney was asked by David Corn to comment on allegations surrounding Hopper’s Mortality.  An Oxygen-tank masked Carney threw a question right back at him “What kind of beer you like Corn?”

“Heineken.”

“Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!”

With 2012 quickly approaching and destruction all around us isn’t it time you prepared for the worst Gaia and the Obama administration has to throw at you?

From the creators of Chia-ShivaPet © comes Aquarius Survival Pack ™-

‘Because you didn’t survive your past life.’ ™

Each Backpack comes equipped to help you and your two closest poli partners (choose wisely) commune with Nature for at least a week after any disaster.

One Disaster Mandala for Contemplation and Mercy especially designed by barefoot New Age co-star of Dual Survivor Cody Lundin

43 Vegan Organic MREs (You guessed right. Lentils and Chickpeas with some spices.  Yummy!)

1000mg of pure MDMA helpfully scaled out in 110mg doses

Ultra lite-weight fold-able yoga mats

Sewing Kit

Patagonia, Lululemon and The Northface Labels to sew on any clothes you may scavenge

Compostable Cutlery – naughty naughty you survivors over there with your plastic sporks…

Three 7th Generation Toilet paper rolls with 100 Bill McKibben columns embroidered on each roll.  If you are on a Shamanic Cleanse – this TP will last a very long time indeed.

One water and fire proof deck each: Tarot, Goddess, UNO.

Freeze dried Kombucha Mother (Just add water!) Kombucha is known to fight the effects of radiation and other toxins so don’t worry about your water source.

Ph testing strips – because you want the best Ph balance you can at the end of the world.

And finally

Six pre-sharpened New Age healing crystals – if Gaia proves to be the vindictive bitch you’ve always kinda suspected she was you can slit your wrists and end it all.

All of this in a hemp backpack made by indigenous people no where near where you live now but guaranteed to be a very special and authentic location (China).

Best of all about the Aquarius Survival Pack is what you WON’T find. Western Medicine. Or your money back.  That’s right folks we guarantee absolutely:

No Antibiotics

No Painkillers

Not even Neosporin

All this for the special pre-Burn price of three payments of $199.99

Namaste.

BurningMan 2011 News Now

Gerlach, NV – Tea Party Comrades have started organizing in earnest for this years 2011 BurningMan festival. On sites like Townhall, Red State, and Free Republic Tea Party Burners are planning a large theme camp named “Oolong It Don’t Take a Village”. Lead organizer Tommy T-Baggin’ said they expect over 300 Oolong’ers this year.

Tea Lady

On the message boards of the nascent Burning Teabagger’s websites a push is gaining momentum to out ‘The Man’ as being foreign born and thus is ineligible to be burnt, exploded, and otherwise destroyed on Bureau of Land Management terra firma under an obscure law championed by 19th Century Kentucky Senator and neo-trade unionist Tuckerite Cassius Clay. If successful the Oolongs would achieve a major coup. The Man has only not been burnt once right after the Bonfire of the Vanities consumed all Burnable Goods in Italy shortly before the infamous Florentine Burn of 1497 where Machiavelli was eaten alive Burn Night as the best possible alternative.

The Man

One Oolong Burner ‘Dusty Earl’ reached by Skype was asked why they would want to stop the Man from being Burnt after all these milennia of decadent immolation and Trance music. “Burning Man has been run by a small cabal of goths and hippies.” Said Dusty, “with a foreign born 5th Steel column being right at the center literally and figuratively.”

“These Jacobians claim to be for the future, they claim to be in favor of the towns in the surrounding area – if that’s the case then why is Empire being shut down?” frothed the Earl. “Why will I have to get my Campbells’ Chunky Beef Soup in Reno? Why will I have to find a way to keep my Boca Burgers frozen all the way from Fernley? Do you know how fucking hot it is on the playa?! Why Why Why!!!” he wailed as his scratchy internet Skype call slowly faded like Mazzy Star’s mid-1990s success.

Mazzy+star+ +1

Tea Party Oolongers’ first arrived at BurningMan in 2010 and were immediately boosted by the successful outing of Larry Harvey as having been born in Transnistria or the Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic for those lacking the gift of brevity rather than Terre Haute, Indiana as Harvey claimed when he ran for the first and only time to become Supreme Overlord of BurningMan in a supremely undemocratic election during an orgy/Alsatian cabinet making session on Baker Beach in 1962. Harvey has since retired and is rumored to live in a dacha on the Black Sea where he runs a human trafficking syndicate and participates in an Old Church Slavonic mens Choir every Saturday Night.

Early cyrillic alphabet

Chief Oolong pre-Playa organizer Dusty Duke said Ooloong It Don’t Take a Village will be run on liquid coal airlifted in daily on a C-130 from West Virginia. The main community event of Oolong will be the dumping of several tons of processed frozen TV Dinners on the playa at Noon Thursday in a historic re-enactment of the Revolutionary Era Tea Party Protest. A spokesperson for the Earth Guardians talking to this reporter on condition of animosity said they plan a counter protest of the event dressed up as Redcoats delivering musket fire involving re-used organic wild harvested lead in the general direction of the Oolongers.

800px Swanson TV dinner